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When a hookup’s ass is as dry as Death Valley and as thirsty as someone lost and stranded in it.
Girl, his parched ass was so thirsty he couldn’t keep it out of the air, but so dry when I tried to give him some dick it was like fucking a flesh-light made of sandpaper. Never again!
Parched by anonymous September 15, 2022
Being exceedingly eager to get something, and thus licking the arse of your manager to achieve something.

Often a place in the starting line up if you are Cédric Soares.
The Japanese fans clearing up after their emphatic world cup victory was parched.
Cedric Soares will often try to get in the starting line up through his parched behaviour to Mikel Arteta
Parched by cenglish December 3, 2022

parched camel 

"Damn man that girl I fucked last night was such a parched camel"
parched camel by parchedcamel November 2, 2013

Parched Mosquito 

When you haven’t had a good succ in a lengthy period of time and you start to get shriveled
Parched Mosquito by Amir Guadalupe December 2, 2017

Parched Peasant

"Can u suck me for $10?"
"No! Be gone parched peasant!!"

parched as balls 

when you're so thirsty all you can think about is balls.
During half time of my soccer game, my grandma asked me if I wanted a gatorade. I said "Well obviously. Can't you tell I'm parched as balls?"