cryptonite

Can refer to either of two similarly-"weighty" definitions:
(1) Any complicated/intricate strategy --- such as using disappearing ink, light-sensitive/chemically-treated "disintegrating" paper that quickly becomes illegible, the addition/insertion of one or more confusing/misleading codes, etc --- that heavily "drags down" anyone's attempts to read/decipher an encryption.
(2) The amalgam of minerals used to make a special stone vault for human-burial purposes.

Our founding fathers surely doled out huge healthy doses of cryptonite in their efforts to prevent thieves from locating/accessing their "national treasure"; fortunately Benjamin Gates and his intrepid colleagues managed to de-code everything in time to prevent said treasure from falling into the wrong hands.

by QuacksO November 18, 2018

criptonic

crip and chronic at the same time. if something is criptonic, it's basically the coolest shit ever. coined by stoners who (a) are white enough to use crip as a compliment, and (b) use chronic, generally a descriptor of weed, as a synonym for great.

dude, that cake is fucking criptonic
shit bro those waves were criptonic today

by imalwaysrighttho December 9, 2014

cryptonite

Substance postulated by scientists to describe a new quality of altcoin prices plummeting, since lead proved to be an insufficient analogy.

Yesterday my pockets were full of digital cash. Over night it all turned to cryptonite. Better go for some crypternating.

by celebrity_chef June 5, 2018

Cryptonite

A crystal that vibrates and resonates with 2.4ghz and low frequencies that mimics radiation from the sun. Produced inside a nuclear fungus (radiotrophic) that produces carbon nanotubes to attenuate frequencies and guide it's spores into hyphae by protein into your neurons by the lymphatic system so that it can continuously reproduce cryptonite in the brain.

It demands to be fueled by carbon sources like alcohol and can mind control.

The fungus is called cryptococcus. Hence crypto-nite.

"Dear God I lost all my powers and am too weak. I must have been poisoned by Cryptonite!"

by El Kal El February 2, 2019

cryptonimby

Someone that is terribly, terribly offended at the very thought of being accused of being a NIMBY, but refuses on the grounds of "reasonable concerns" to allow any development in their area.

"OMG. The Traffic!"

"Been studied. It will be fine."

"OMG. The Sewage!"

"We're only using 1/3 of what we have."

"OMG! My view!"

"Of what? You won't even be able see it through your trees."

"Why are you being this way?"

"Because you're a total cryptonimby"

by Al Benedict October 26, 2018

cryptonight

What your undertaker-beau sorrowfully tells you when he is obliged to decline your request for a "moonlight stroll" because he has an urgent job in the burial-cellar of the monastery that will likely keep him busy till well past midnight. A really "heavy" statement that totally "weighs you down" emotionally, but what are ya gonna do?

My main squeeze unexpectedly hadda assist da local priest in giving last rights to a recently-deceased fellow member of the clergy in the church basement this evening, and so he was obliged to sadly shake his head and tearfully tell me, "cryptonight". He did manage to get done with said job a bit earlier than he'd expected, though, and so he was eventually able to race home and change and then come and pick me up, after all; due to the late hour, we couldn't have a full-length date like we normally would, of course, but at least we still got to stretch out on the quiet wharf for half an hour, savoring the soft lapping of the waves on the pilings, and gazing up at all da friendly twinkling stars.

by QuacksO November 18, 2018

cryptonite

A gambling addiction - specifically within crypto currency.

Dude, I love gambling but mostly sports - that guy has cryptonite!

by lastofswagger March 28, 2026