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Counting With Jerold

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by ismelltheindoorsnow November 12, 2020
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Fresh coating

When your gurl brushes her teeth with minty fresh toothpaste then proceeds to give a blowjob.
By Christian G.
I received a fresh coating yesterday and I still smell the good ol' crest today.
by Mintchris January 2, 2019
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Heapage Contingency

When you add a little bit to your calculations for ball leeway
"I'm gonna say 121 plus some Heapage Contingency"
by Cretzel April 12, 2021
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Contingency plan

Noun: A plan saved for the worst case scenario, or a backup plan.

According to Sarge from the popular web series Red Vs. Blue, what a shotgun to the face could be considered.
Griff: "And if the plan doesn't work?"
Sarge: "I've got a contingency plan."
Griff: "A shotgun to the face is not a contingency plan. I keep telling you that."
Sarge: "Of course it is! Just look how well it works for insubordination!"
by N00berson McGee December 26, 2011
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counting pockets

The act of assuming or guessing other people's finances or net worth. Some take it a step further and actually try to suggest how others should spend their money.
"You make enough money off of sponsorships, you should take a pay cut to help bring in more players for your team."
"Stop counting pockets and worry about yo damn self."
by KD's Burner Page October 14, 2017
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bean counting

What young men are apt to do in cold countries.
It usually consists of sitting and watching young girls and women as they pass, and observing their nipple areas to see if they have pursed up due to the cold, and consequently make a prominent hard bean shape under their tight fitting blouse or tee shirt.
It is a competitive sport and he who legitimately counts the most beans in an agreed time, wins.
I saw a poor girl this morning when I was bean counting with Bob; she was really cold.
by soreofhing July 6, 2009
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masturbatory contingency

The natural mental ability all people possess that allows them to quickly and dynamically assess the situation and environment they are in to decide whether or not it is practical to masturbate at the exact moment in time.
My mother wasn't due to be back home for another 10 minutes, so I thought I'd slip in a quick wank. However, masturbatory contingency told me that it wasn't worth taking any chance of her walking in on me.
by Scekhcsy Foxmonk August 8, 2010
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