compaq

A computer manufacturer accidentally mispelled its name on all of its company letterhead. It was supposed to be Comcrap, but once it was printed "Compaq," it was too late to change it. They make computers that are vastly overpriced, underpowered, and generally unreliable.

Dude, my Compaq died for the fourth time yesterday.

by Anonymous February 9, 2003

compaq

Makers of PC computer systems that are made by sweatshop workers in third world countries in textile mills. They use unreliable components and often take cost-saving measures such as: building everything but the kitchen sink onto the motherboard so it is unlikely anybody will ever try to upgrade. Software only modems. Bios that does not recognize a boot drive unless it is pre-loaded with mindless Compaq shovelware. IDE ribbon cables with only 1 head. Riser cards for horizontally oriented PCI slots.
Best of all they pass the saving on to you, the consumer. Oops, sorry, that last bit is what the other computer manufacturers do.

My Grandma upgraded to a Compaq from a 286 PC Jr. and noticed a slight decrease in performance. Also the XGA graphics on the old computer were better.

by Gimli July 15, 2003

compaq

Overpriced piece of shit computer company with even shittier customer service, run by foreigners who couldn't speak English to save their lives.

Compaq sucks....dude I should've gotten a Dell

by BFG December 3, 2003

compaq

a) a warning label affixed to boxes and merchandise, for sale. Similar, to the book of revelations in the bible... just condensed.

b) a proprietary computer where You can't replace anything on your own.. you can't hire anyone besides compaq to fix it.. as they can't get the parts...
Not even screws.

c) the source of 25% of all the scrap metal contained in landfills abroad.

Aw f*ck.. not another compaq.

by Stuart January 30, 2004

compaq

Computer manufacturer that makes everything from handheld computers (pocket size computer) to the gs320 (a UNIX server the size of a uhaul van). They also made good portable systems until they merged with hp (now their laptops suck because they only have 1 memory slot).

I have an old compaq system with 2 memory slots

by root@localhost August 23, 2003

compaq

A machine that has everything on the motherboard and the motherboard never works

Dude i wuz gonna game on my compaq at the lan but i had to take it apart and solder the fan to the usb port and reinstall windows.

by caffeinatedsoap October 2, 2003

compaq

A computer so low in quality, the only computers lower than it are Apple Computers.

Steve: "Dude, you'r gettin' a Dell!"

John: "Ya, but it's got to be better than this fucking Compaq. By the way, are you high?"

by Punkhead May 28, 2005