scottish carpentry

The term is not used to describe the quality of Scottish Carpenters (who are craftsmen/women and do great work!)

The term is used to describe the linear rage within the Scottish soul - A progressive reaction to a progressive in-justice that has no real cause - A 'slow-burn' explosion. This is best described through the medium of poetry:

Scottish Carpentry

Owit, Aya, Mammy Daddy!
A hit ma thumb wi' a hammer
An’ that wis fuckin' sore

Christ all-bloody mighty!
Noo a’ve fuckin’ drapped it
It's fell on ma fuckin' toe

Cuntin' fuckin' bastardin' hammer!
The blood's goin' in ma eye

A loast the plot, heedered the nail
Everything must die!!

Aaaaaaah fuckin' hate wid!

I suffer from Scottish Carpentry and now I hate wood! (In this example, 'wood' can be substituted for any other noun or verb.)

by Jackson Greenhorn September 16, 2020

Coonskin Carp

noun
The black Little Mermaid.

I've heard of a coonskin cap, but coonskin CARP? Come on now...

by Jerk of Iron May 26, 2021

meat carpet

A donna kebab

ima gonna go out this weekend, get pissed and finish off the night with some meat carpet

by interbred.monkey May 28, 2021

chin carpet

a single small patch of facial hair just below the lower lip and above the chin.

Wife: please shave your chin carpet!
Husband: absolutely not

by missmama June 4, 2021

Fancy Carpet

Slang for a fursuit, coined by youtuber Odin Wolf

"I just got my first Fancy Carpet I'm so excited!"
"I'm saving up to get my Fancy Carpet"

by Fancy Carpet June 17, 2021

Iranian Carpetry

When a petite girl is pissed at her boss and defiles his silk, Iranian carpet with sexual deeds

Yeah, Mr. Smith is a dick so I treated him to an Iranian Carpetry

by KarenNerak July 15, 2021

Quiet Carpentry

Any facet of Home improvements that are painstakingly attempted before dawn. Indictive of a man tweaking whose up all night .Carpentry done with keeping the noise down as a priority because everyone else is sleeping. A tweaker who has a knack for doing carpentry in his home between the hours of 12 am and 7 am , thus resulting in scattered small jobs with at best sub par results.

Since the pandemic the 24 hour hardware store in Manhattan has been closed overnight . What a drag for my beloved Quiet Carpentry.

by BillyKrash July 31, 2021