Top definition
A man who has wood and does things with it. Carpenters use their tools for such purposes as screwing, drilling, and reaming. Rubbing and sawing away at old logs are also common activities. Nailing, while definitely an important part of carpentry, is not nearly as good as screwing. Carpenters also often get glue all over their wood.
While carpentry is an important and serious subject - after all, without it, we wouldn't have such things as chairs, desks, tables and doors - the terminology of carpentry is fraught with opportunities to make crass sexual innuendos.
Carpenters themselves, of which I am one, exploit these opportunities whenever possible.
Jesus was a famous carpenter, but all the jokes were removed by po-faced editors when he wrote The Bible.
Drilling, screwing, nailing, reaming, rubbing - all things done by a carpenter.
by Tony Prescott September 29, 2006
Get the mug
Get a carpenter mug for your mate Bob.
Mar 1 Word of the Day
One who has a mania for music.
I am a melomaniac.
by Larstait November 14, 2003
Get the mug
Get a melomaniac mug for your daughter Zora.
2
Someone who has a hammer, aka a big dick.
Girl 1: Dan is such a carpenter
Girl 2: Why is that?
Girl 1: He has a hammer!
Girl 2: A hammer?
Girl 1: Yeah, a big dick!!
by dudebrochillz April 28, 2011
Get the merch
Get the carpenter neck gaiter and mug.
3
A person who is a problem solver for a high class crime family, usually fixing said problems with the problem disappearing without a trace.
by Stacy the Face February 11, 2011
Get the mug
Get a Carpenter mug for your girlfriend Yasemin.
4
A carpenter is a legit, badass, problem solving, beer drinking, tang slaying, beast of a man!
Mary: man my dude is a pussy!
Mary’s friend: bitch you shoulda got you a carpenter! My man is the shit. Fixes everything and smashes like a beast!
Mary: well gotta Ditch this electrician!
by Bwahaha26 June 04, 2018
Get the mug
Get a Carpenter mug for your dad Callisto.
5
A chick who is an expert at nailing wood. In other words, a prostitute.
I was just looking for some local "carpenters" online.
by Wallydon February 01, 2010
Get the mug
Get a Carpenter mug for your daughter-in-law Julia.
6
What Jesus did as his part time job lol
Jesus was good with handling wood lol him and his little fisher price carpenter toolkit
by Rupert "dong" Dupert December 14, 2007
Get the merch
Get the carpenter neck gaiter and mug.

Activity