carpenter

A man who has wood and does things with it. Carpenters use their tools for such purposes as screwing, drilling, and reaming. Rubbing and sawing away at old logs are also common activities. Nailing, while definitely an important part of carpentry, is not nearly as good as screwing. Carpenters also often get glue all over their wood.
While carpentry is an important and serious subject - after all, without it, we wouldn't have such things as chairs, desks, tables and doors - the terminology of carpentry is fraught with opportunities to make crass sexual innuendos.
Carpenters themselves, of which I am one, exploit these opportunities whenever possible.
Jesus was a famous carpenter, but all the jokes were removed by po-faced editors when he wrote The Bible.

Drilling, screwing, nailing, reaming, rubbing - all things done by a carpenter.

by Tony Prescott September 29, 2006

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carpenter

Someone who has a hammer, aka a big dick.

Girl 1: Dan is such a carpenter
Girl 2: Why is that?
Girl 1: He has a hammer!
Girl 2: A hammer?
Girl 1: Yeah, a big dick!!

by dudebrochillz May 21, 2011

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Carpenter

A person who is a problem solver for a high class crime family, usually fixing said problems with the problem disappearing without a trace.

The carpenter mad Johnny the rat disappear.

by Stacy the Face February 28, 2011

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Carpenter

A carpenter is a legit, badass, problem solving, beer drinking, tang slaying, beast of a man!

Mary: man my dude is a pussy!
Mary’s friend: bitch you shoulda got you a carpenter! My man is the shit. Fixes everything and smashes like a beast!
Mary: well gotta Ditch this electrician!

by Bwahaha26 June 12, 2018

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