carpenter

A man who has wood and does things with it. Carpenters use their tools for such purposes as screwing, drilling, and reaming. Rubbing and sawing away at old logs are also common activities. Nailing, while definitely an important part of carpentry, is not nearly as good as screwing. Carpenters also often get glue all over their wood.
While carpentry is an important and serious subject - after all, without it, we wouldn't have such things as chairs, desks, tables and doors - the terminology of carpentry is fraught with opportunities to make crass sexual innuendos.
Carpenters themselves, of which I am one, exploit these opportunities whenever possible.
Jesus was a famous carpenter, but all the jokes were removed by po-faced editors when he wrote The Bible.

Drilling, screwing, nailing, reaming, rubbing - all things done by a carpenter.

by Tony Prescott September 29, 2006

carpenter

Someone who has a hammer, aka a big dick.

Girl 1: Dan is such a carpenter
Girl 2: Why is that?
Girl 1: He has a hammer!
Girl 2: A hammer?
Girl 1: Yeah, a big dick!!

by dudebrochillz May 21, 2011

carpenter

the act of a woman giving a hand job while holding a piece of sandpaper.

"dude! i almost went to the hospital 'cause that bitch tried to give me a carpenter"

by stoak May 8, 2010

carpenter

What Jesus did as his part time job lol

Jesus was good with handling wood lol him and his little fisher price carpenter toolkit

by Rupert "dong" Dupert January 6, 2008

the carpenter

when you bang a girl using a 4x4 as a strap-on

the carpenter hurts like hell I have a splinter in my ass

by adrain barboza April 2, 2019

The Carpenter

the act of wrapping sandpaper around your Penis and having sex with a woman

after i used the carpenter she was smooth as a pebble

by 07 Sr. Mens Swim November 28, 2007

Carpenter

A person who is a problem solver for a high class crime family, usually fixing said problems with the problem disappearing without a trace.

The carpenter mad Johnny the rat disappear.

by Stacy the Face February 28, 2011