A man who has wood and does things with it. Carpenters use their tools for such purposes as screwing, drilling, and reaming. Rubbing and sawing away at old logs are also common activities. Nailing, while definitely an important part of carpentry, is not nearly as good as screwing. Carpenters also often get glue all over their wood.
While carpentry is an important and serious subject - after all, without it, we wouldn't have such things as chairs, desks, tables and doors - the terminology of carpentry is fraught with opportunities to make crass sexual innuendos.
Carpenters themselves, of which I am one, exploit these opportunities whenever possible.
Jesus was a famous carpenter, but all the jokes were removed by po-faced editors when he wrote The Bible.
Drilling, screwing, nailing, reaming, rubbing - all things done by a carpenter.
by Tony Prescott September 29, 2006
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Someone who has a hammer, aka a big dick.
Girl 1: Dan is such a carpenter
Girl 2: Why is that?
Girl 1: He has a hammer!
Girl 2: A hammer?
Girl 1: Yeah, a big dick!!
by dudebrochillz April 29, 2011
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the act of a woman giving a hand job while holding a piece of sandpaper.
"dude! i almost went to the hospital 'cause that bitch tried to give me a carpenter"
by stoak May 8, 2010
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What Jesus did as his part time job lol
Jesus was good with handling wood lol him and his little fisher price carpenter toolkit
by Rupert "dong" Dupert December 15, 2007
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when you bang a girl using a 4x4 as a strap-on
the carpenter hurts like hell I have a splinter in my ass
by adrain barboza April 2, 2019
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the act of wrapping sandpaper around your Penis and having sex with a woman
after i used the carpenter she was smooth as a pebble
by 07 Sr. Mens Swim November 6, 2007
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A person who is a problem solver for a high class crime family, usually fixing said problems with the problem disappearing without a trace.
by Stacy the Face February 11, 2011
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