tp fu

It simply means "fuck."

I tp fued his sister.

by Dangermonk March 6, 2004

TP kernels

bits of toilet paper left on ones ass, after wiping too hard

rice sized rolls of toilet paper

As she was about to toss my salad, she said no way, because of the TP kernels in the way

If you see someone itching their ass, say "TP Kernels?"

by gsxmaer September 6, 2010

tp regrets

The act of saving money on cheap toilet paper resulting in instant pain the first time one wipes.(may result in loss of blood from anus)

That white cloud toilet paper isn't so soft! I already got the tp regrets, looks like I need stitches now.

by Hodgescw July 9, 2015

TP Slippage

When you cover a public toilet seat with TP, and turn around to sit down & your shorts/pants/dress knock that nice later of ass protection off the seat and into the water. Inevitably, you have to start over.

Man, I had to drop a deuce, but the seat was so nasty I had to use 3 well-placed layers of TP to protect my booty. I turned around to sit down, and there was massive TP slippage, and I had to start all over.

by rotospace July 14, 2015

TP crumblies

TP crumblies occur when women fail to evolve to proper, current hygiene standards and continue to use the archaic, unsanitary practice of toilet paper whipping (instead of a bidet), subsequently leaving trails of moist toilet paper balls scattered from clit to b-hole for their unfortunate male counterparts to find during conolingus.

I went down on Jackie last night, and there were TP crumblies all over the place.

by Noah Balboa September 4, 2015

tp condom

A cylindrical roll of toilet paper (usually made by wrapping tp around the hand) into which the penis can be inserted for mess-free fapping.

Justin may be a germophobe but that doesn't stop him from fapping into a tp condom.

by Snapchat Noots May 20, 2016

TP toll-booth

A.k.a. "balky bowel". Refers to where you remain sitting on da porcelain throne for a long time in an attempt to get "that last bit" to come out, but no dice... you're obliged to "pay a toll of toilet-paper" to progress any further, in that you hafta actually wipe yourself to get said "stubborn blob" to make its messy exit. But then, of course (and ONLY then --- again, you can have worked your sphincter muscles all you please, but the remaining poop still won't budge) you will discover that there are still some of Ollie North's "residuals" up inside your anus, and so you will hafta use even more of your precious costly Scott 1000-sheet roll to wipe repeatedly till you finally get it all out.

My butt-hole is unfortunately a chronic TP toll-booth, and so to save money, I use old recycled phone-books and other thin newspaper-type material to do my initial wiping after I go No. 2, and then only use toilet-paper to "finish up with".

by QuacksO May 25, 2019