dirty carpenter

when a girl finds a piece of wood with a lot of splinters on it and masterbates really hard until she bleeds

jane- hey john i was really bored last night so i gave myself a dirty carpenter! it hurt like shit!

john-what the fuck?

by i<3men!!!! February 23, 2011

Does the carpet match the drapes?

A Secret Code to find a hostage mole

Sam: Does the carpet match the drapes?

Mob guard: I don't know. I set fire to the drapes. I love to watch things burn.

Max: Hey, me too!

Sam: Sorry I asked.

by PrinceDeven78 June 16, 2022

cape may

piece of shit place at the jersey shore, contains a bunch of poser surfers, who just fall over on the 2 foot waves.

look at those little bitches goin down to cape may.

by XxX June 1, 2004

carpet monster

when your carpet is so sticky dirty from beer and whatnot and you drop something on it and you can't pick it up because its stuck.

hey jen, can u pick up my dildo because the carpet monster got it!

by Anonymous April 29, 2003

Carpet-wagger

An extremely effeminate man. One that makes a carpet knight look tough

Devin youre a carpet-wagger

by Mclaugh January 14, 2009

Carpet muncher

A girl who prefers to have sexual interactions with another female, usually ending up in orgasm. This person tends to have dark hair and drinks orange juice very frequently. These carpet munchers get pretty wild and could be found at a party drunk as hell without a shirt.

"Bro, I was gonna hook up with that drunk girl who was stripping last night but it turns out she was a carpet muncher!"

by Zyx987 December 8, 2013

carpenting

The act of Carpentry

He wanted to indulge his love of carpenting on people; so he became an orthopaedic surgeon.

by Jamiel Davsey April 7, 2014