masturbate 

Something that Jesus watches you do. Especially when you are stuck in a porta-john and an angry tranny is banging on the door shouting "GO FASTER!"

As Bob stared at the midgets having sex on his computer monitor, he pulled out his pecker and masturbated. As he was in the middle of wankin' one out, he noticed it was dark outside and noticed a bluish light flash outside his window and heard a huge thunder. Suddenly, LIGHTNING STRUCK HIS HOUSE AND EVERYONE DIED!

And on that fine day, Jesus said the two words in a booming voice that humanity will forever cherish, "Don't masturbate."

masturbate by MrCat January 24, 2015

masturbate 

to fire ones death star
OR
to open ones fire hose

masturbate by Anonymous January 25, 2003

Masturbate 

When a young child thinks he's a god for touching himself for pleasure while looking at their step-mom or step-sis

Hey guys I just Masturbated to my mommy

Masturbate by Niggerfan69 May 7, 2019

masturbate 

Fly the airplane. Shift gears.

Well guys, I'm off to fly the airplane!
Man, I gotta go and shift gears!

masturbate by Your Ass September 26, 2003

masturbate 

To turn on the faucet, to polish the tube.

I masturbate every night!

masturbate by ASSHOLE! July 10, 2004

masturbate 

How stupid are you that you need to look up in Urban Dictionary to know what masturbate means?

Masturbate? You're kidding me if you're saying you dont know what it is!!!!

masturbate by FatFastStrong October 20, 2009

masturbate 

Shaking hands with benjamin franklin

johnny went to the white house to see the presidents wife and shake hands with benjamin franklin

masturbate by Anonymous May 9, 2003