Jesus H. Christ 

A phrase used to express particular suprise, disgust or shock to an instance, as emphasized by the "H" (which stands for "Holy"). It's used in the same context as "Jesus Christ!", except the H is added to include greater emphasis on the concern.

Note: The phrase is no more-or-less blasphemous than "Jesus Christ"

"Jesus H. Christ, you scared the shit outta me!"

Jesus H. Christ by Alhadis June 17, 2004

Jesus junk 

Term used by Christian retailers to describe small plastic toys, pens, and pencils that have been imprinted with trite religious phrases to be handed out to children for memorizing Bible verses in Sunday School.

Jesus junk by Daryl May 11, 2003

Jesus-cheap

Something so cheap you say "Jesus!"

Jesus! Twelve bucks for that? That's Jesus-cheap!

Jesus-cheap by petetoth March 16, 2009

Jesus cock 

A Jesus cock is despised and rejected by men beaten abused and crucified by its owner only to rise again as the perfect cock for any vagina the Jesus cock is the savior of all vaginas that have been cleansed and washed again and are clean and fresh a Jesus cock once revealed to the woman is irresistible to her it is the cock of cocks

I found out dominic has a Jesus cock I am obsessed now

Jesus cock by ffffffffuck me 2020 March 27, 2021

Jesus bracelet 

A fashionable bracelet sported by many Christians and non-Christians across America. They are just soooo fashionable that even people who don't believe in Jesus wear them.

Hey look she's wearing a Jesus bracelet.
I thought she was Atheist.
Yeah she is, but Jesus bracelets are in style so she is keeping up with the latest fashion. Duh.

Jesus bracelet by Jesus bracelet wearer March 26, 2010

jesus people 

People who claim to be christian, but are, in reality, attatched to an image of a man who, if he were alive today, would be committed to a mental hospital for claiming to be the son of God.

A group who would rather put tacky fish emblems on their car, instead of read the book that is supposedly their be all end all.

People who claim to know more about the world because of their relationship with someone they know nothing about.

People obsessed with an image of piety, rather than actually being pious.

Christians are ok, it's the Jesus People that ruin things.

The stupid Jesus People gave me another damn pamphlet.

I don't care if the Jesus People think I'm going to hell, they're all idiots.

jesus people by Dustin Like What June 27, 2004

Jesus Chriss 

1. A biblical figure from Morgan City who was robbed of the copyrights to the hit singles of his band, "Jimmy Condomhead and the Rubberband peanut Stand" by his rival,Jesus Christ. Jesus Chriss played his golden chart topping hits for Robert Gertrud, who in turn went behind his back and pitched the songs to Geffin Records. David Geffin signed Robert Gertrud to a 5 million dollar contract and suggested he use the stage name Jesus Christ. As legend has it, Jesus Chriss became so angry that he ripped out his own spinal cord and fatally stabbed Jesus Christ repeatedly in the lower abdomen in a back alley way in the coal shute yelling, "Don't mess with Morgan City Trash"! He also liked to wear old man pants from thrift stores.
2.Someone who remains broke and bitter in a sticky robe that smells like dog shit (and piss!) because someone keeps stealing his chart topping hits and selling them to Geffin Records...and he just can't figure out who the fuck keeps doing it.
3.Someone who likes to wear old man pants
4.Someone with cronic back problems who is contantly treated unfairly by hospital personnel because they are jealous of their song writing abilities.

1."Hey, is this Brian?" "I stole your tascam recorder and I'm gonna make millions off of your music you piece of shit!" "You're a real Jesus Chriss you know that, you fuck?"
2."Don't be pullin a Jesus Chriss on me tonight...this is a funeral we're going to." "Put on some nice slacks."
3."Nurse Becky, tell that Jesus Chriss we won't treat him." "But Doctor, his stats are dropping!" "Let them drop!" "No one is going to stop me from winning first place at the Tucson Tapdancing Saxiphone and Bongo festival...AND I MEAN NO ONE!!!"

Jesus Chriss by Ana Mocity January 29, 2008