Alhadis's definitions

Funny

1) Of or relating to the state of writing or behaviour that arouses amusement in others.
2) Strange, odd, or queer in a non-homosexually related fashion.
3) A trait that most contemporary comedy shows don't seem to possess.

1) "Your mother" is a generic response guaranteed to deliver amusement in response to any question, no matter how intellectual or complicated.
2) "Not funny ha-ha, funny queer, mmm-hmm." - Karl Childers, Sling Blade
3) "Futurama" is a comedy show that delivers the goods to the audience. "Everybody loves Raymond" doesn't, and few comedy shows these days are capable of producing quality humour in their audience.

by Alhadis July 25, 2008

priest

1) A profession that has come to be associated with acts of sodomy and depravity towards children, as evidenced by the overwhelming spread of child molestation crimes among the Catholic church. While many priests can be rightfully condemned for being homosexual, hypocritical paedophiles, the remaining population of clergy members who're actually upright, honest and chaste (and find butt-fucking little boys at the altar as equally repugnant as any sensible human being would), are often overlooked in light of the gay, depraved shits who've destroyed the church's image simply because they couldn't handle a demanding life of celibacy and control their own sick desires at once.

2) The casual way of referring to "Judas Priest", one of the greatest heavy metal bands to have ever thundered onto stage, and are responsible for perfecting the genre after Black Sabbath laid the blueprints for heavy metal. Judas Priest is called "priest" the same way as metalheads refer to Black Sabbath as simply "Sabbath" and Iron Maiden as "Maiden"; other metalheads will instantly know what you're talking about, while outsiders might go "Huh? You went and saw Priest? Where? What church? Why?"

1) "He loves the boys in the choir,
They keep their souls pure.
But the tenor worries him...
So he must be the closest to him.
On his nightstand, quiet and wordless,
A picture of the Lord...
He slowly turns it around.
When the church clock strikes twice,
He folds his hands for prayer.
He has remained without a wife,
So he must love his neighbour."
~ Translated lyrics for Rammstein's song "Hallelujah"

2) Metalhead #1: "Hey man, did you get Priest's latest album, "Angel of Retribution"?
Metalhead #2: "You bet, man. It kicks ass."
Metalhead #1: "It's Priest. Of course they kick ass."

by Alhadis July 16, 2008

Terry Pratchett

Despite being one of the funniest writers alive, and having a nearly unsurpassed level of creative genius, this man is *still* largely underrated as one of England's most brilliant writers, with writers like J.K. Rowling walking away with the most fame and recognition for books that are, in comparison to the Discworld novels, overrated piles of crap. There's nothing in Terry Pratchett's works that could make me keep a straight face- EVER, and each novel is utterly hilarious in a well-worded, balanced fashion that conveys a distinctive style of British humour that's become Terry Pratchett's style. The man might be coming along in his years, but he's shown NO signs of slowing down over the years... hilarious, creative, witty, and able to write novels that're both clever and compelling without overdoing humour or storyline. That's the true essence of Pratchett's genius; not just being funny, but keeping readers involved in the book rather then the jokes alone.

Pick up one of his novels and give yourself a laugh. If you find yourself reading through at least a single chapter and can't laugh at least ONCE, you're in need of some serious psychological assistance.

"Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day. Set fire to the man and he's warm for the rest of his life." ~ Jingo, another of Terry Pratchett's more well-known novels.

by Alhadis July 31, 2008

Akka Dakka

The Australian way of referring to AC/DC, our country's greatest rock band and the pioneers of hard rock. "Akka Dakka" sounds so fucking Australian, and like many of our culture's lingo, was derived from a longer, more syllable-heavy word to form a shorter, quicker variation that reflects the enthusiastic "Let's get to it" attitude of the Australian people.

Driver: "Hey, turn that bloody shit off an' let's switch on some Akka Dakka, eh cobber?"
Passenger: "Fuckin' oath, mate. Dirty Deeds, done cheap? Bloody hell, I love this one."

by Alhadis July 16, 2008

huppelkut

Dutch slang that very loosely means "trendy little bitch". Term is usually used to term girls who're ditzy, fashionable preps that're slaves to mainstream culture (compare with valley girl). Huppelkut is generally considered a derogatory term, spoken as a disparaging insult for any girl that lives an overly social and 'trendy' lifestyle and obsesses over fashion statements and other prep-related ideals.

Two huppelkutten in a library:
Girl: "Yeah, my boyfriend and I are gonna go shoppin' today... gonna look for a new dress for me to wear when I go out with my girlfriends tonight. *giggle* Everybody's telling me my clothes are getting outta date... I need to spend some time shopping at the gap... maybe hang up wiv my friends there... You coming?"
Girl #2: "Oh sure, I was only gonna stay home and watch Slipknot videos..."
Girl: "Like, eeww... you listen to Slipknot? Aren't they, like, gothic, like?"
Girl #2: "I think so... sorry, I'll come and buy some clothes with you guys."
Guy nearby: *thinks* "I wish those two huppelkuts would STFU; I'm trying to do work but all they ever do is jabber about clothes and boys."

by Alhadis June 11, 2006

Zoidberg

Despite being the 'unpopular' character in the series, Dr. John Zoidberg is one of the most popular characters of the hilarious show Futurama, known for his voracious appetite, strange mating rituals, and complete ineptitude at dealing with human patients. Speaking of which, he's not human; he's a giant lobster. Who wears sandals. Is also known for his famous "w00p w00p w00p w00p" noise he makes when running away from danger. Loved by fans of the show, hated by the characters (For being lazy, disgusting and glutenous). Second only to Bender in hilarity.

(Planet Express has been blown back through time to the 1950s, the site of Roswell Air base, and Zoidberg has been captured by army recruits and is being interrogated by President Truman)
Truman: "If you come in peace, surrender or be destroyed. If y'here to make war, *we* surrender."
Zoidberg: "Both good... the important thing is; I’m meeting new people."
President Truman: "Bush-wah! Now, what’s your mission? Are you planning to make some alien/human hybrid?"
Zoidberg: "Are you coming onto me?!"
President Truman: "Hot crackers! I take exception to that!"
Zoidberg: "I'm not hearing a no..."

by Alhadis July 29, 2008

Feuer Frei

One of Rammstein's most popular and well-known songs, first released in 2001 on their album Mutter and having gained mainstream recognition due to an appearance on the movie xXx. The song's title basically means "Fire freely!" in German (used in the sense of "fire at will" by German soldiers during combat). Live performances of this song highlight the band's unmitigated passion for flames and burning eruptions, which further cements the mainstream's misinterpretation of this song as being directly associated with fire. But the far worse twist of n00bism is any idiot that refers to the song as "BANG BANG!" (which just happens to be the following line in the song's chorus, after "Feuer Frei!"). There aren't many ways for Rammstein to be degraded even further by the sheer, undeniable ignorance of the mainstream masses, but calling them "Rob Zombie clones" is certainly one of them. Any real fan of Rammstein's music would recognize that the depth, musical talent and plain kick-ass rhythms of these w00t Germans would (and should) be insulted by comparing them to Rob Zombie, so please disregard the last definition written for this entry.

"Geadelt ist wer Schmerzen kennt,
vom Feuer das in Lust verbrennt,
Ein Funkenstoß,
in ihren Schoß,
Ein heißer Schrei,
FEUER FREI!"

by Alhadis May 21, 2006