Alhadis's definitions

Breezertaal

Dutch slang referring to the usual chav/script-kiddie style of writing over IRC or MSN in distorted upper/lower-case (e.g., "cHeCK iT oUt i cAnT uSE a kEyBoARD cuz iM kOoL"). While the word is generally used in Holland, the actual writing "style" is to be encountered by IM-users anywhere around the world... generally because mindless chevs or ditzy 14-year old girls think it's "cool" to write sentences that make a reader's eyes bleed.

MSN user name #1: "iF yOU wAnT mE, cOMe aND gEt mE"
MSN user name #2: "i lUV jArED hes mY bOYfrIEND"
Insane Dutch reader: "Man, that's IT! I can't take anymore of this Breezertaal!"

by Alhadis June 26, 2005

Funny

1) Of or relating to the state of writing or behaviour that arouses amusement in others.
2) Strange, odd, or queer in a non-homosexually related fashion.
3) A trait that most contemporary comedy shows don't seem to possess.

1) "Your mother" is a generic response guaranteed to deliver amusement in response to any question, no matter how intellectual or complicated.
2) "Not funny ha-ha, funny queer, mmm-hmm." - Karl Childers, Sling Blade
3) "Futurama" is a comedy show that delivers the goods to the audience. "Everybody loves Raymond" doesn't, and few comedy shows these days are capable of producing quality humour in their audience.

by Alhadis July 25, 2008

Mutter

1) The act of murmuring, mumbling or otherwise verbalising one's speech at indistinct levels of volume (often when complaining silently, or "speaking under one's breath").
2) The German word for "mother" (see Mutti)
3) An album released by Rammstein in 2001, characterised by the cover's image of an unborn foetus (a depiction that some weak-stomached fans found slightly unnerving). The album is widely regarded as a Rammstein classic, heralding their most spectacular and illustrious works, such as Feuer Frei, Mutter, Mein Hertz Brennt, Speilhur, Sonne, Ich Will, and many others that make the album one of Rammstein's most hailed and incredible works (although most Rammstein fans, including myself, would argue that all of their albums are brilliant; but subjectivity has no place in this description).

1) My boss reprimanded me for arriving to work late, so I walked outta his office muttering profanities under my breath.
2) "Ich leibe meine mutter" (I love my mother, in what's hopefully correctly worded German)
3) "Keine Sonne die mir scheint, keine Brust hat Milch geweint in meiner Kehle steckt ein Schlauch. Hab keinen Nabel auf dem Bauch." ~ Lyrics from Rammstein's album, 'Mutter' (from the song under the same name)

by Alhadis July 28, 2008

PTSC

Short for "preteen softcore", an acronym commonly used on P2P networks (compare with "PTHC", similarly referring to "preteen hardcore".) Regardless of whatever some sick, twisted bastard might think, downloading and sharing Softcore child pornography is no less redeemable then Hardcore child porn. It's all the same sick, twisted shit that paedophiles give acronyms such as these to in order to avoid having their disturbed shit filtered out by the standard filename keywords (e.g., "celeb", "amateur", "80-year old paedophile’s who should've been put down at birth, etc)

Limewire user: *searches for Simpsons episodes*
Limewire: *lists several various entries displaying "REAL PTSC"!!
User: "PTSC? What the hell does that stand for? I guess it must be Simpsons-related, as it *did* show up in my search."
*downloads and looks, only to be horrified by the sick shit displayed onscreen*
User: "AAARGGH!! Pffgh, what the f-...?!" *is both disgusted, horrified and worried he could be charged for possession of Child Pornography*

by Alhadis October 24, 2005

Anti-gamer

Somebody who still refuses to accept that video games have become a major and defining element of our culture. The belief that only lonely, agoraphobic and pencil-necked geeks play computer games is an archaic stereotype, and Anti-gamers primarily believe only geeks and nerds spend their time playing video games. In reality, this is pretty much the same as saying "only sluts ever have sex". Today, everybody plays video and computer games; anti-gamers tend to show soccer-mum qualities and *really* need to wake up and get with the times.

Anti-gamer: "You play video games...? Man, you really need to get a fucking life."
Gamer: "So kickin-ass in Half-life 2, Splinter Cell, and a dozen other ass-kicking FPS with a massive ring of friends over Xbox-live or LAN parties makes me a geek? I think you need to follow your own advice about getting a life, pal. This isn't the 80s, anymore."

Anti-gamer: "Yeah, whatevs. I'm sure all your "friends" are geekish losers who can't get any sex so they spend all their time jerking off over Lara Croft's fake tits."
Gamer: "Uh-huh. I'm sure all your 'friends' are narrow-minded jocks and brainless preps who haven't realized that a large ring of friends playing over Xbox live, or something, is just another way for friends to hang out and enjoy each other's company."

by Alhadis March 29, 2005

Angel Of Death

1) The title of Josef Mengele, a Nazi doctor responsible for performing the most gruesome and brutal medical experiments in recorded history. Orchestrated numerous grotesque debaucheries to prisoners transported to the Auschwitz concentration camp, selecting them for either labour or extermination, acts of which earned him the title of "Angel of Death".

2) A Slayer song inspired by Josef Mengele's treatment of prisoners during WW2, which happens to be their most famous and well-known song (which says the least of how awesome this fucking song is; if you ever get sick of it, don't let a Slayer fan hear of it, for your own safety). Unfortunately, this song's also used as a crutch by posers claiming to be genuine Slayer fans; when asked about their favourite song, chances are a poser is going to answer "Angel of Death!" A true Slayer fan would follow up by mentioning several other favourites of Slayer's countless awesome works (in this author's opinion, there's only one or two Slayer songs he *doesn't* like; everything else is a brutal masterpiece of Slayer's nearly unmatchable skill).

Angel of Death might be one fuckin' awesome song, but it's by no means the only masterpiece of thrash metal that Slayer have recorded. Songs like "Skeletons of Society", "Crionics", "Tormentor", "Blood Red", "Dead Skin Mask", "Dittohead", "Catalyst", "Death's Head" and "Eyes of the Insane" are just a handful of several kickarse songs that've blown one's ears off as a reminder that metal can never die.

1) Josef Mengele was a sick, twisted cunt who ripped the muscles from prisoner's legs and forced them to walk, set fire to victims and did all sorts of other sickening shit.

2) "Auschwitz, the meaning of pain, the way that I want you to die. Slow death, immense decay, showers that cleanse you of your life"... etc, seriously, if you're a Slayer fan and don't know the lyrics to "Angel of Death", you're an anomaly. ;-)

by Alhadis September 21, 2008

eBaum

The webmaster of eBaumsworld.com, arguebly the most shamelessly self-promoting site on the Internet. Has its fair share of funny material, all of which was scrounged around the Internet and has had the eBaumsworld logo crapped on it in some way, effectively shitting on the face of the content's real owner. Also infamous for false advertising; if eBaumsworld's promotes itself as hosting "clean humour and nothing pornographic", then I'd shudder at anything the webmaster might consider remotely "dirty".

Image banner: "This image is NOT the property of eBaumsworld's.com"
Surfer: "So why the flying fuck is this ugly banner stripped across it?! It's fucking the picture up!"
Answer: Because anybody linking to said image is actually promoting the site by anybody reading the domain name stripped across the violated picture. Brilliant strategy, eBaum.

by Alhadis December 9, 2004