When you get shit-dicked with pungent diarrhea. The kind that stings the nose and causes the eyes to water.
"I was on a Tinder date the other day and it went horrible. We had lunch at Taco Bell and she ended up giving me a Muddy Johnson later that night."
by Fructussy October 17, 2025
Get the Muddy Johnson mug.When asked a question (any question) to which one thinks you know the answer, the verb to "Johnson" is to waffle, procrastinate and create sufficient bluster so as to fool, create absolute confusion and go off on a tangent, leaving the questioning party stunned and bemused.
To hide your absolute incompetence, or unpreparedness, or lack of understanding/comprehension by spouting totally irrelevant bullshit, including latin or greek which nobody understands, as an answer to a valid and simple question. When said with the unsolicited self-confidence of an expensive Conservative-funded public school education, the "Johnson" answer can be pulled from the bag in absolutely any circumstance.
To hide your absolute incompetence, or unpreparedness, or lack of understanding/comprehension by spouting totally irrelevant bullshit, including latin or greek which nobody understands, as an answer to a valid and simple question. When said with the unsolicited self-confidence of an expensive Conservative-funded public school education, the "Johnson" answer can be pulled from the bag in absolutely any circumstance.
I asked Boris what he'd like for dinner last night, and i got such a "Johnson" answer, i couldn't remember my name and i'd lost 25 minutes of my life. I felt like i'd been hit by a fucking bus. I do vaguely remember him spouting some shit about the Bermuda Triangle and what happened to Michael Jackson. I won't be doing that again.
by dying_fish September 26, 2020
Get the Johnson mug.by TheJoeMister March 17, 2020
Get the Weston Johnson mug.two men go into a bathroom and jerk off and drink each other's cum and than spit it into the original persons mouth then they both make out
by big man jacker50019282 July 11, 2025
Get the Levi C Johnson challenge prank mug.She is perfect in every way she is loving caring she is the perfect girlfriend and she will be with Michael white for ever
by Gehehd November 6, 2018
Get the Madison hope Johnson mug.A stupid flat ugly un loyal piece of pube hair who is a fat whore she also if your white don’t date her she cheats on you which lightskins
by Ttyy55 August 1, 2022
Get the Kelsey johnson mug.Johnson is a gift from God who's generous, kind, and charming. He's extremely charitable, willing to spend large sums of money for the sake of others despite it being at the risk of his own well-being. He's intelligent, talented but sometimes unaware of it, and is highly friendship orientated. People who are named Johnson usually have an appreciation for the color red, love dogs and other floofy animals, and have both hot and adorable features plastered onto them. They're unbelievable nice, have dark hair and dark eyes. They're not afraid to be themselves, and lots of people love that about them.
by Flash_boy November 23, 2021
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