When Jesus Wakes up

When something is bound not to happen, or will not begin for a long time.

I'm finna do my home work...... ha, when jesus wakes up.

by DanArc December 25, 2007

East Jesus Nowhere

An amazing Green Day song off their 2009 album 21st Century Breakdown. This song is about fundamentalist religion. Lead vocalist for Green Day, Billie Joe Armstrong, wrote this song after attending a baptism for a friend's baby. Green Day performed this song on the season 34 finale of Saturday Night Live. Will Ferrell, who hosted, accompanied them on cow bell. This did not air, but can be found on Youtube.

A fire burns today
Of blasphemy and Genocide
The sirens of decay
Will infiltrate the faith fanatics

Some of the lyrics to East Jesus Nowhere

by Ninja-Unicorn June 30, 2011

You Need Jesus

When someone in your squad is cutting the fool, or says something perverted as fuck that makes you laugh.

"Lord, that punannie was so tight, I thought she was underage!"

"You know you need Jesus, right?"

by theradicalthinker August 26, 2016

went heels to Jesus

to wallpaper the closet, to put Percy in the play pan, to lay some pipe, to swing the axe

- The last time I laid some pipe?
- You know, wallpapered the closet, went heels to Jesus?
- You mean make love?
- Nah, just sex!

by Zombieland2009 February 3, 2010

Jesus h christ (on a popsicle stick)

Exclamation of extreme aggravation.

Jesus h christ on a popsicle stick--why won't this damn engine turn over!!!

by JohnK May 22, 2005

jesa

a short beautiful, sexy big boobed girl with curly hair that she likes to straighten alot but sometimes doesnt give a fuck about if its straightened or not. she cares alot about what shes wearing most of the time and can get any guy she wants shes very sexy and knows it and doesnt care if people like it or not she has alot of friends and can kick anybodys ass if she wanted too! so if u want ur ass beat u should mess with her (or at least try)...shes really pretty and really smart o shes pretty much the complete package!

boobs jesa awesome

by kickassssss June 21, 2011

slim jesus

A white Boy Who Thinks He's Black He Made The Song,"Drill Time" He's from Ohio

"I fuck with savages,you a fuckboy you can't hang." - Slim Jesus,Drill Time

by Dr Gang In This Bitch December 30, 2015