Suicide Wank

When you're having a wank, just before blowing the load, shout out "Mom" or "Dad", then try and finish the job before they get into your room!

Me: Jerking off
Brain: Suicide wank time
Me: "Mom! Dad! come here and quick!"

by darwin (herolevi) November 19, 2019

wank

To vigorously and repeatedly move the handle of a mechanical device.

As in this instruction to the crew of a small boat in trouble:

"Come on, wank that pump handle or this bloody cow will sink..."

by Coxswain January 11, 2006

Wank

to masterbate, to slap it, to jack it, to smack it, to fondle oneself.

Ali Ansari wanks off to Sly.

by yeee yo May 11, 2006

Brown Wank

Masturbating whilst taking a shit

by Anonymous July 25, 2003

pokey bum wank

to masturbate rapidly while anally pleasuring one's self with a toothbrush or other anal entry instrument.

wank wank or this colgate is good

by muscles August 22, 2004

finger bum wank (FBW)

a particularly sick individual who is not satisfide with the usual five finger shuffle, and feels it nessecary to penertrate his own rectum with 1,2 or even three fingers whilst beating one off, adding to his own miss guided feeling of sexual gratification.

i was going to have a wank but i thought fuck it why not have a finger bum wank (FBW) i deserve it!

by franklin B wankface June 19, 2006

wank

1. abusive meaning for someone that masturbates
2. crude meaning for masturbation

abusive meanings
1. my boss is a fucking wanker
2. what a fucking cunt of a wank he was
3. go fuck yourself you fucking zygote wanker
4. wankers should be done for
5. get fucked you fucking wank

crude meanings
6. i had a wee wank this morning
7. i hate when skeet spurts out your dick after a wank
8. i don't like wanking
9. might as well have a wank a quickie of the wrist
10. i never wank off ever

by lucas bolton April 24, 2006