Procrasturbation

To occupy oneself with masturbation while pressing matters await.

Verb: 1) "I was procrasturbating this evening and therefore late for dinner"

2) "Suzy, why arent you here yet...procraturbating again?"

3) "I need to get going maybe just one last procrasturbation"

by bhall998 June 25, 2014

Procrasturbation

The act of chucking a wank in order to avoid doing work or study

Procrasturbation Example:

Dude 1: "Fuck dude, I haven't done any work all day!"
Dude 2: "Yeah me neither, I've been procrasturbating"
Dude 1: "Wtf is that?"
Dude 2: "It's when you masturbate to procrastinate"

by LFCAidan September 14, 2014

Pronapsturbate

When you make the decision to jerk off instead of doing work, and end up taking a nap afterwards

Teach: Where dat assignment doe?
Rob: I don't know, I must have pronapsturbated instead of writing this paper.
Teach: I too get caught in pronapsturbation loops.

by Ello M8 March 9, 2016

Procrasturbation

Putting off masturbating for a later time, when it should be done now.

That man Joey teaches procrasturbation at school.

by Mustangboi May 4, 2018

Prolapsturbate

To prolapsturbate is to sneakily slip your hand inside the prolapsed anus of your beloved while hitting that bitch doggy stylee, and feel your pork hammer through the vaginal wall, which gives the illusion of tightness.

Steve: hey jarrod how was last night?

Jarrod: pretty good Steve, I met a new girl at the smarter parlour.
Steve: did she have Alabama rot like the last one?
Jarrod: no way, I checked first, she did have an amazing prolapse though.
Steve: oh that's really nice, I hope you enjoyed your prolapsturbation then jarrod.
Jarrod: I did Steve, she's a keeper, she's my little glove puppet, I think I'm in love again, you know I love to prolapsturbate.

Steve, that's good jarrod, you deserve a nice girl.

by Fzx911 June 7, 2019

Cybernetic Procrasturbation

Willful and enjoyable procrastination that is predominantly performed through the use of internet-based sources of distraction. Basically, anything electronic that holds your attention from completing necessary tasks.
i.e. social media, Reddit, shopping, and gaming (vidya).

"I wasted four hours on cybernetic procrasturbation today and now I can't finish this report for my boss on time!"

"Zach is the worst at handing in papers on time because he is always cybernetically procrasturbating."

by Noodl3Ninja October 23, 2020

Sargasmic Procrasturbation

When you masturbate while you procrastinate in a sarcastic manner until you orgasm.

Guy 1: Hey, did you finish the project?

Guy 2: Hell yeah I did! I've been working on my sargasmic procrasturbation all night!

Guy 1: So you didn't really finish it, did you?

Guy 2: Nope, I haven't even started.

by Muff Garbage October 21, 2010