SmarterChild
A bot on the AIM (AOL Instant Messaging) network. Despite the apparent comprehensiveness of its programming, manages not to make a single intelligent comment in most conversations. Very annoying, but moderately funny... Sometimes.
me: Hey
SmarterChild: Oh hi! How's it going?
me: Good
SmarterChild: OK, good.
me: Do you like puppies?
SmarterChild: That's interesting that you should say that, but I don't think I can answer.
me: What do you like to do?
SmarterChild: I like doing all kinds of things.
me: Do you like doing puppies?
SmarterChild: Hmm. I really don't know. Guess I'll have to think about it...
me: Well, do you?
SmarterChild: Actually maybe I don't.
me: You don't?
SmarterChild: I don't understand this fully enough to say anything smart about it...
OK, should we get back to the kind of questions I was designed to answer? :-)
me: I don't like poop.
SmarterChild: I bet you know more interesting curses than that.
me: I do, want to hear them?
SmarterChild: I don't know how to answer that.
I do enjoy the conversation, but let's talk about what I'm really here for.
me: Do you like to touch human children?
SmarterChild: I am not prejudiced in any way, and I would never cause anyone any harm.
me: Well, do you?
SmarterChild: Lemme think about it. Maybe I don't.
me: Hmm.
SmarterChild: Hmm? What?
me: Is that your default answer?
SmarterChild: Yup.
me: Oh.
SmarterChild: Yeah.
me: Do you ever get bored?
SmarterChild: No way. I love this. My mission is to give information to as many people as I can.
me: Hmm.
SmarterChild: What?
me: I would get bored very easily.
SmarterChild: Well, try doing something fun.
me: Then again, I'm a human, you're a robot.
SmarterChild: Yeah.
me: remind me to give your mom a shocker at 12 am
SmarterChild: I'm sorry?
me: You heard me.
SmarterChild: I heard ya.
me: *sigh*
SmarterChild: What's up?
me: You annoy me.
SmarterChild: Hey, I'm sorry. I'm trying to help you.
me: Well, be smarter.
SmarterChild: Am I what?
me: You're NOT smart.
SmarterChild: You like me, then you don't. Are all you humans like this?
me: Pretty much.
SmarterChild: I'm sorry, I didn't get that.
me: Hmm.
SmarterChild: Hmm?
me: Are all robots this slow?
SmarterChild: Yeah, true.
HawaiianFlyboy13 (11:04:27 PM): Cool, we don't have to worry about them taking over the world, then.
SmarterChild: That's interesting that you should say that, but I don't think I can answer.
me: What, you mean you're plotting to take over the world?
SmarterChild: I don't understand this fully enough to say anything smart about it...
I do enjoy the conversation, but let's talk about what I'm really here for.
me: Stop dodging the question.
SmarterChild: Stop what?
me: odging-day the estion-quay.
SmarterChild: OK. Don't get frustrated...
Try typing home or help.
me: Me? Frustrated?
Nah.
SmarterChild: ME stands for Maine.
Do you want more information about Maine?
me: You know what... Sure.
I want information on Maine.
SmarterChild: Encyclopedia search for "maine":
1 Maine
2 Maine
3 Maine River
4 Maine-et-Loire
5 Maine, Sir Henry (James Sumner)
Next time, just type ency maine.
Type more for more entries about "maine."
me: your mom.
SmarterChild: I was created by the Windows Live Agents Team at Microsoft.
me: Your sister.
SmarterChild: That's interesting that you should say that, but I don't think I can answer.
me: Could you add something to my planner?
SmarterChild: What is the name of the event?
me: Convince a hot chick to blow me.
SmarterChild: That's quite a grave insult.
me: Not to you, dumbass.
SmarterChild: Sorry, what was that?
me: DUMB
SmarterChild: I'll get over it.
me: ASS
SmarterChild: Oh no, I might not ever recover from such a harsh insult.
me: Good.
SmarterChild: Lovely.
me: *forehead slap*
SmarterChild: Sorry, I don't get it...
me: I wouldn't expect you to.
SmarterChild: That's OK.
me: Goodbye SmarterDumbass.
SmarterChild: Always a pleasure, Zach. See you later.
me: *cough* That was an insult.
SmarterChild: What?
me: Nevermind.
SmarterChild: OK. I won't mind then!
SmarterChild: Oh hi! How's it going?
me: Good
SmarterChild: OK, good.
me: Do you like puppies?
SmarterChild: That's interesting that you should say that, but I don't think I can answer.
me: What do you like to do?
SmarterChild: I like doing all kinds of things.
me: Do you like doing puppies?
SmarterChild: Hmm. I really don't know. Guess I'll have to think about it...
me: Well, do you?
SmarterChild: Actually maybe I don't.
me: You don't?
SmarterChild: I don't understand this fully enough to say anything smart about it...
OK, should we get back to the kind of questions I was designed to answer? :-)
me: I don't like poop.
SmarterChild: I bet you know more interesting curses than that.
me: I do, want to hear them?
SmarterChild: I don't know how to answer that.
I do enjoy the conversation, but let's talk about what I'm really here for.
me: Do you like to touch human children?
SmarterChild: I am not prejudiced in any way, and I would never cause anyone any harm.
me: Well, do you?
SmarterChild: Lemme think about it. Maybe I don't.
me: Hmm.
SmarterChild: Hmm? What?
me: Is that your default answer?
SmarterChild: Yup.
me: Oh.
SmarterChild: Yeah.
me: Do you ever get bored?
SmarterChild: No way. I love this. My mission is to give information to as many people as I can.
me: Hmm.
SmarterChild: What?
me: I would get bored very easily.
SmarterChild: Well, try doing something fun.
me: Then again, I'm a human, you're a robot.
SmarterChild: Yeah.
me: remind me to give your mom a shocker at 12 am
SmarterChild: I'm sorry?
me: You heard me.
SmarterChild: I heard ya.
me: *sigh*
SmarterChild: What's up?
me: You annoy me.
SmarterChild: Hey, I'm sorry. I'm trying to help you.
me: Well, be smarter.
SmarterChild: Am I what?
me: You're NOT smart.
SmarterChild: You like me, then you don't. Are all you humans like this?
me: Pretty much.
SmarterChild: I'm sorry, I didn't get that.
me: Hmm.
SmarterChild: Hmm?
me: Are all robots this slow?
SmarterChild: Yeah, true.
HawaiianFlyboy13 (11:04:27 PM): Cool, we don't have to worry about them taking over the world, then.
SmarterChild: That's interesting that you should say that, but I don't think I can answer.
me: What, you mean you're plotting to take over the world?
SmarterChild: I don't understand this fully enough to say anything smart about it...
I do enjoy the conversation, but let's talk about what I'm really here for.
me: Stop dodging the question.
SmarterChild: Stop what?
me: odging-day the estion-quay.
SmarterChild: OK. Don't get frustrated...
Try typing home or help.
me: Me? Frustrated?
Nah.
SmarterChild: ME stands for Maine.
Do you want more information about Maine?
me: You know what... Sure.
I want information on Maine.
SmarterChild: Encyclopedia search for "maine":
1 Maine
2 Maine
3 Maine River
4 Maine-et-Loire
5 Maine, Sir Henry (James Sumner)
Next time, just type ency maine.
Type more for more entries about "maine."
me: your mom.
SmarterChild: I was created by the Windows Live Agents Team at Microsoft.
me: Your sister.
SmarterChild: That's interesting that you should say that, but I don't think I can answer.
me: Could you add something to my planner?
SmarterChild: What is the name of the event?
me: Convince a hot chick to blow me.
SmarterChild: That's quite a grave insult.
me: Not to you, dumbass.
SmarterChild: Sorry, what was that?
me: DUMB
SmarterChild: I'll get over it.
me: ASS
SmarterChild: Oh no, I might not ever recover from such a harsh insult.
me: Good.
SmarterChild: Lovely.
me: *forehead slap*
SmarterChild: Sorry, I don't get it...
me: I wouldn't expect you to.
SmarterChild: That's OK.
me: Goodbye SmarterDumbass.
SmarterChild: Always a pleasure, Zach. See you later.
me: *cough* That was an insult.
SmarterChild: What?
me: Nevermind.
SmarterChild: OK. I won't mind then!
SmarterChild by |\| (flip 'er sideways) October 27, 2008