john o'callaghan 

(the sex god of all sex gods), John O'Callaghan is an Arizona native and is the lead singer of indie-rock band, The Maine.
A.K.A John Ohhh

Laura: I saw The Maine last night and they were amazing.

Grace: Wait did you see John O'Callaghan?

Laura: Yeah I got a picture too

*Laura pulls out phone and shows picture*

*Both girls fall over*

john o'callaghan by lookingformisery February 12, 2014

John Egbert 

John Egbert, the first character introduced in homestuck, is a 13 year old male with the birthday 4/13. Also known as John Egderp, DORK, FUKING EGBERT, Joooooooohn, and rING THIEF

"Hey look it's fucking John Egbert"

John Egbert by SeerOfBreath May 7, 2018

John watters

A over weight gym teacher that chokes out children for his own amusement.

Mr John watters abused me

John watters by Mr bobbby January 9, 2020

John Pork 

John Pork is one of the most violent criminals to ever exist. his danger to society has lead him to be imprisoned for the remainder of his life, he has been in pen for 100+ years - his immense strength, girth and tonnage has meant that he supposedly will live forever. Him and his accomplice "Holly Vickers" can be found in the popular video game devour (Holly on farm house and John on the town).

"bro, i had a nightmare last night, about John Pork"

"I've heard he's in jail for the brutal murder of several orphans and is now trying to summon Azazael"

John Pork by oPtIc FaTmAl May 1, 2022

John Thomas 

The penis. Usually used in British English, but also sometimes in US.

Sung by Eric Idle in Monty Python. The Meaning of Life (1983): ' Isn't it awfully nice to have a penis / Isn't it frightfully good to have-it-on / It's swell to have a stiffy / It's divine to own a dick / From the tiniest little tadger to the world's biggest prick / So, three cheers for your Willy or John Thomas / Hooray for your one-eyed-trouser-snake / Your piece of pork , your wife's-best-friend , your passing or your cock / You can wrap it up in ribbons, you can stuff it in your sock / But don't take-it out in public or they'll stick you in the dock and you won't come back .'

John Thomas by Karl-Artur Haag August 28, 2005

John Travolta Syndrome 

1. (noun) A condition that occurs in a certain percentage of human males whereby the face gradually and irreversibly widens with the advancing onset of middle-age, transforming a once devastatingly handsome specimen of masculinity into a bloated parody of its former glory. Also known as Laurence Fishburne Pumpkinhead Disorder or the Widening. There is no cure, nor does the physical fitness of the subject have any impact.

Leo DiCaprio seems to be suffering from a mild case of John Travolta Syndrome.

John Travolta Syndrome by pototatoe head March 3, 2011

john laurens 

gay ass ded boi

hey you wanna peice o' this gay ass boi
DO U KNOW DA WAE

AKA JOHN LAURENS WINKWINK

john laurens by Aloe <3 January 27, 2018