Jumpin' Jesus on a Pogo Stick

An exlamation of disgust or alarm

"Jumpin' Jesus on a pogo stick! That capsized truck was carrying a freezer full of livers to the hospital, what a mess!"

by SpiderGirl April 30, 2003

jesus christ

some dude commonly believed by the same kind of morons

jesus christ? actually doesn't exist!

by chun hyang February 6, 2008

Jesus Christ

1. A word used to express anger. Avoid saying this in front of Jesus Freaks, it will upset them.

2. Some guy stated in the Bible. He supposedly died on a cross and died for our sins. Now he's gonna save us all or something like that. Of course we all know this is absolutely retarded, after all, the only reference is a really big book.

1. Jesus Christ, why the hell is my wife doing another man in my bed??

2. All the Bible is, is a big book, ok?? Who wrote the book? God? Ok. Yeah. God wrote the Bible and then came down to earth and gave it to some guy so he could show it to everyone. YEAH RIGHT. You know what really happened? Some guy wrote all this bull so that he could make some money.

And how come even in the Bible, men have all the power? I though "Jesus" believed in equality for everyone!! Wtf?

Tell you what, when Jesus "Saves" you, I want you to come down here with him and show me. THEN I'll believe it. Thank you.

by XxXI.AM.NOT.AN.AETHEISTXxX April 4, 2009

Dwarf Jesus

A would-be saviour who is incapable of fixing his own problems, but insists on saving you from yours. Salvation, in this case, involves crucifixion of the focus of Dwarf Jesus' attention, since Dwarf Jesus is too short to crucify himself.

Dwarf Jesus occasionally is correct, but this is a statistical anomaly, and should not be trusted.

Verily did Dwarf Jesus say then, "Father, Father! Why hath thou touchest mine naughty bits?"

by Wodn May 4, 2009

Jesus H. Christ

A phrase used to express particular suprise, disgust or shock to an instance, as emphasized by the "H" (which stands for "Holy"). It's used in the same context as "Jesus Christ!", except the H is added to include greater emphasis on the concern.

Note: The phrase is no more-or-less blasphemous than "Jesus Christ"

"Jesus H. Christ, you scared the shit outta me!"

by Alhadis June 17, 2004

Jesus junk

Term used by Christian retailers to describe small plastic toys, pens, and pencils that have been imprinted with trite religious phrases to be handed out to children for memorizing Bible verses in Sunday School.

by Daryl May 11, 2003

jesusification

the act of becoming jesus

jesusification, while disputed by some, has only been reached once

by od2 May 24, 2003