Constypation

When you can see someone frantically typing on a social media site but nothing comes out at the other end.

Michael seems to be suffering from severe constypation. He's been typing on andoff for a minute but I don't see anything in the chat box.

by godandwhatnot April 2, 2016

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Constipation Sneeze

The act of inducing a sneeze in order to speed up a bowel movement.

Jack: I have to take a dump babe.
Jill: Okay, just hurry. The movie starts in 2 minutes
*Jack returns after 1:30*
Jill: That was quick. Why is your nose so runny and your eyes so red?
Jack: I had to snort popcorn salt to induce a constipation sneeze.
Jill: Awh honey I'm so proud of you!
*Lives happily ever after*

by Loller4429 October 2, 2016

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Occupational Constipation

When you just can't give a shit about something at work. This is usually due to seeing wonderful new programs fall on their faces time and time again.

Worker 1: Hey, did you see we're having a raffle to win plastic water guns?! You get tickets by bringing in school supplies!!!! It's such a great idea!
Worker 2: Sorry, I'm suffering from a bad case of occupational constipation.

by Dilberto, Prince of Mierda August 26, 2013

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Facebook Constipation

Refraining from posting to social media for an extended period due to lack of motivation, internet service, stupid people, etc. Often followed by Facebook Diarrhea.

Sorry for posting so much lately; I just got over a bout of Facebook Constipation.

by JohnnyApocalypse September 13, 2015

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Reverse constipation

You know that feeling when you're in bed and you have that hard and throbing sensation in your asshole that feels like you're taking a shit but instead it's crawling right back up there to go make a nest for its Satan babies.

To have a dick stuck up your ass making it feel like reverse constipation

by LetMeGoTokyoDemons March 28, 2016

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