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Load my musket

An extremely vigorous and/or hurried handjob.
(Walking into an Asian massage parlor)
Hi I've only got 15 minutes until I need to be back at work - how much to skip the massage and just load my musket?
by gunny815 February 12, 2015
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Grab My Musket

A euphamism for male masturbation, i.e., apply lip gloss, bash the bishop, beat it, beat off, beat (one's) meat, beat the bishop, buck the slobbering donkey, choke the chicken, crack one off, date Mrs. Palmer, fap, five knuckle shuffle, flog (one's) log, have a date with Rosie Palmer and her five sisters, have a tug of war with Cyclops, have a wank, jack off, jerk it , jerk off, jerk (one's) gherkin, junior Olympic pole vaulting, paint the ceiling, play pocket pinball, polish (one's) knob, pound (one's) pud – pudwhack, pud wrestle, punch the clown, punch the munchkin, rough up the suspect, rub one off, rub one out, slap the salami, spank it, spank (one's) monkey, stroke the salami, wank off – wax the carrot – wax the dolphin, whack it, whack off.

Phrase coined on 10/26/2016 by ex-Congressman Joe Walsh @WalshFreedom.
"On November 9th if Trump loses I'm gonna Grab My Musket. You in?"
by metalmixtress October 26, 2016
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Related Words
Kicking up your traditional musket ball activity (the act of taking a foreign object, placing it at the rim of the asshole and having a male take his shaft and ram it up the rectum) using a bulk sized bag of whole, fresh cranberries from your local Costco.
My grandma was furious when she found out my uncle Frank had taken her fresh cranberries and had been thanksgiving cranberry musket balling me in the back bedroom. She ended up having to use the canned cranberry sauce instead. I was farting cranberries out all through dinner.

One by one, he packed me full with a festive evening of thanksgiving cranberry musket balling. It really made me get into the holiday spirit early this year.

He pounded down an entire bag into my rectum last night doing a little thanksgiving cranberry musket balling. Let’s just say the next morning I gave some new meaning to the words Ocean Spay Cranberry Juice.
by Dick Onchin November 17, 2020
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Alabama Custard Musket

An Alabama custard musket is the act of having anal sex with your sister, cousin, aunt, or mother, and ejaculating into their rectum. Once this has been achieved, lay on your back, with the female participant squatting over you. She then farts out her man-custard frosted stink nuggets at you at alarmingly high velocity while screaming "the South shall rise again!" as you try to dodge the hailstorm of custard frosted butt bullets.
Oh dang man, my cousin Bobby-Jean Billy Joe Bob Possum Dog gave me the worst Alabama Custard Musket. It was so bad even Mountain Dew wouldn't wash it out of my mullet.
by Unicorn Squeezins November 27, 2021
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Muskingum College

A small college located in the middle of nowhere (New Concord). Home of the Muskies. Muskies are little tiny fish that look like a shark (the sharp teeth), but smaller who pose no big threat. Students who attend the college spend of there time at the local gas station (Circle K) or go behind the gas station where the railroad is and smoke ciggarettes all day.
The College is not very well known, but few famous people did go/attend the college.For an Example: Jack Hanna and Ignes Moorehead graduated from Muskingum Colelge. John Glenn would have graduated if he didn't drive his truck in the lake while being intoxicated.
Person A: "Your going to Muskingum College, where's that? "
Person B: "In the middle of nowhere"

Person A: "oh, I don't know anyone who graduated from there."
Person B: "yes you do! Jack Hanna who is obessed with the Columbus Zoo and John Glenn would have grauded if he didn't drive drunk into the lake"
by muskingum junkie March 26, 2009
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douche musket

1. a term that is applicable when douche nozzle does not accurately describe the person or people in question.
2. an awesome fucking name to call people.
dude1: you see that queaf with his popped collar??
dude2: yeah, what a douche musket.
by vulvahammer November 22, 2009
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Three Musketeers

A three digit vaginal or anal fingerbang.
Tony was getting bored with the twix he was performing on Lee's asspipe, so he turned her over and went Three Musketeers on her sorry, Zamboni-like stank trench.
by Bigbear Goldstein January 30, 2008
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