molester mustache

a rail-thin mustache; usually on 26-45 year-old sex offenders who have finished puberty but by the looks of their 'stache, you would think that they just began puberty. they do not have to be sex offenders, but those who are not guilty of the crime tend to shave it off at the sight of the thinness above their lip

Person A: "Hey, look at that guy's mustache. He's old, but it's growing in a 13-year old's would."

Person B: "That pervert has a molester mustache"

by Pimp Turtles May 27, 2007

Porno mustache

1.It's that thing that Dr.Phil and Gunther has. The type of neatly groomed mustache that sometimes leads into a beard.

2. Looks like it came out of a 70's Porno.

Man. Look at Mr.Smith he has a Porno mustache .

by whatifspacesdidntexist March 31, 2009

Columbian Mustache

The effect of having traces of cocaine visible on your upper lip after snorting the drug.

Bro, wipe away that Columbian Mustache before you leave the bathroom.

by Michael Wolstencroft February 14, 2006

crusty mustache

to cum upon a female's upper lip while she is asleep. after the seman has dried it is now become a crusty mustache.

your crusty mustache is iratating my lips.

by Spank Nuts June 21, 2007

Moscow mustache

Putting your penis across her upper lip like a mustache

John gave Julie a Moscow mustache when she wasn't expecting it.

by Kdogg79 May 19, 2018

funny mustache man

little man that loves to commit genocide

or

genocidal midget

my wife was just taken by a genocidal midget
that little *funny mustache man*

by Bloxifier May 20, 2022

ironic mustache

generally adorned by a hipster
an ugly mustache grown initially as a joke and to impress one's friends with the level of commitment necessary to maintain it. these mustaches often remain with the wearer far longer than they are funny and become a part of the person's "look".

Jameson: Dude...Steve looks pretty gross these days. I don't think he's washed his denim jacket in a long time and his hair is awful!
Marc: No doubt, and his ironic mustache really isn't helping.

by bad daddy schlong October 10, 2007