English is a Northern European language, part of the West-Germanic language family, making it most closely related to German and Dutch, and also related to some Nordic languages like Danish, Swedish, and Norwegian. It is best known for its extremely complicated and inconsistent methods of spelling and pronunciation, often confusing both native and non-native speakers whenever they encounter new words.
Dearest creature in Creation,
Studying English pronunciation,
I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse and worse.
It will keep you, Susy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy;
Tear in eye your dress you'll tear.
So shall I! Oh, hear my prayer,
Pray, console your loving poet,
Make my coat look new, dear, sew it?
Just compare heart, beard and heard,
Dies and diet, lord and word,
Sword and sward, retain and Britain,
(Mind the latter, how it's written!)
Made has not the sound of bade,
Say—said, pay—paid, laid, but plaid.
Now I surely will not plague you
With such words as vague and ague,
But be careful how you speak,
Say break, steak, but bleak and streak,
Previous, precious; fuchsia, via;
Pipe, snipe, recipe and choir,
Cloven, oven; how and low;
Script, receipt; shoe, poem, toe,
Hear me say devoid of trickery,
daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore,
...
(You'll have to look up the rest of the poem, due to the character limit of the Urban Dictionary.
Dearest creature in Creation,
Studying English pronunciation,
I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse and worse.
It will keep you, Susy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy;
Tear in eye your dress you'll tear.
So shall I! Oh, hear my prayer,
Pray, console your loving poet,
Make my coat look new, dear, sew it?
Just compare heart, beard and heard,
Dies and diet, lord and word,
Sword and sward, retain and Britain,
(Mind the latter, how it's written!)
Made has not the sound of bade,
Say—said, pay—paid, laid, but plaid.
Now I surely will not plague you
With such words as vague and ague,
But be careful how you speak,
Say break, steak, but bleak and streak,
Previous, precious; fuchsia, via;
Pipe, snipe, recipe and choir,
Cloven, oven; how and low;
Script, receipt; shoe, poem, toe,
Hear me say devoid of trickery,
daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore,
...
(You'll have to look up the rest of the poem, due to the character limit of the Urban Dictionary.
To any ESL readers out there, if you can read this poem out loud, and pronounce every word correctly, your English language skills are better than the majority of native speakers.
by This is my handle okay September 8, 2025
Get the Englishmug. Similarly to engrish, is a word used to describe incorrect/bad use of grammar or command of the english language
by goofygoober009 October 25, 2012
Get the Englishnessmug. English is a subject in school. Normally you write or learn about history in English. English has many rules and not a lot of people agree with these rule. For example when texting people often don't put punctuation at the end of a sentence.
I have English 6th period.
by WritingGirl2000 January 9, 2017
Get the Englishmug. 
the language we are all speaking.
by Yuri von tarded September 24, 2020
Get the ENGLISHmug. by Dudusdaboi February 6, 2019
Get the English smithmug. When you wake up in the wee hours of the morning spark a cigarette, take a shit, piss & rub one out without cleaning either end, then hop back into bed with the Mrs.
by Kugelblitz187 February 21, 2023
Get the English Breakfastmug.