A question no parents would ask their child at Christmas, unless they are Donald Trump or a radical Islamist who views Christianity as a form of idolatry.
by MathPlus December 25, 2018

WHO’s comforting message to millions of anxious children worldwide about Father Christmas to assure them (without proof) that despite his older age they needn’t worry about his health during this pandemic crisis, as he would be able to deliver their presents on Christmas Eve—however, they are reminded that they and Santa Claus must adhere to physical social distancing and must obey their parents to sleep early on December 24.
Because Santa Claus is immune to Covid-19, WHO confirmed that most countries—except those few nations that forbid Christmas because it is an “infidel” or pagan festival—would relax their quarantine rules to enable Santa and his flying reindeer to enter their airspace, so that he could uninterruptedly and unobstructively deliver the presents before December 25.
by MathPlus December 14, 2020

a fat old bastard that slips through your chimney, eats all your cookies, and gives you coal in return.
and yes, he is real, but he was just arrested for breaking and entering in the 80s
and yes, he is real, but he was just arrested for breaking and entering in the 80s
by iminhellplshelpahhh August 31, 2024

The act of climbing up on your roof, bending a girl over the chimney and pounding her until you blow, sending your “present”, down the chimney.
by sneakypetercheek May 23, 2021

"You had a Santa Claus moment," said an already living Santa Claus to Mankind. -from the documentary I am Santa Claus. 2014 .
by ElGatoGuapo October 12, 2017

by mr binoculars December 15, 2020

He is a pedophile who secretly watches over kids. Not only that, but he also has a large child porn collection in the world and he will be arrested for life and has to register as a sex offender for life and he has probation for life and there will be no Christmas.
by Comedyandhak June 8, 2022
