The closest a person can get to God. A Claus is usually someone with a large penis, very attractive, etc. He is the best in everything, and nothing or no one can compare to him.
Man, I wish I was a Claus.
by Dr. Who's Seuss November 7, 2010
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claus is a very weird dude, he doesnt like kids but hes a highschool teacher anyways.
CLAUS IS ANnoying
person 1: omg is that a claus?
person 2: yes run
by Niels123<3akamaja June 2, 2021
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Similarly to "on god" this term is used to emphasis the truth and to express the fact that the individual will not be on the naughty list for lying. The term is most commonly used during the holiday seasons.
the day dipdop drops a wizard in amish its gonna be an austin powers tier piss and thats on claus
by hossman_jago November 6, 2019
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Where do I even start on this one.... Claus is DA FLIPPING MAN OF GOD. He is also the most random person that exists nowadays. Here is how it all began: Claus decided to leave his non-random followers, and here is how it went:

Follower #1: Where is Claus?

Follower #2: He is flying into outer space.

Follower #1: WHAT? He bought a rocket?

Follower #2: No, he's been building one.
(I love you if you get the reference)

And that is how how Claus took his two wives, his children and his goat Clausishia and flew away. After countless nights he reached a very random looking planet in the Milky Way. The Clasanian family landed there and realised that it was a very random country with very random people living there. Since Claus is basically a millionaire, he built somewhere around 400000 bridges there so that everyone would have a place to stay. He sold his rocket and bought a bunch of cardboard boxes for his family. That very same day, the Clausanian family got robbed and were left with nothing. And that is how they ended up living under the Clausanian bridges. However, the people found Claus attractive, and made him their CEO. Claus named the planet after him, and it became the Random Land Of Clausania. And that is how Claus became CLAUS-THE-RANDOM-MAN-OF-GOD.
Clauser #1: Do you believe in the power of Claus?
Clauser #2: Of course, I mean he is the absolute man of God!
by Random Claus May 28, 2020
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verb to hit another man in the genitals

pronunciation rhymes with house
Tom: Dude!!!! you totally got claused
by heythatsmybike September 10, 2006
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The man who's banging your girl around the holidays. Or who shows up during the year to give your girl the gift of a good f**king.
Sancho Claus already gave me my christmas present!

"I showed up at my boss's house like Sancho Claus and plowed his wife!"
by The Real Sancho Claus December 8, 2011
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Satan claus is the true villian behind XXXmas. He delivers grief and pain to all the bad little boys and girls. He’ll burn down houses and make it look like it was the christmas lights. It was his reindeer that ran over grandma. He’ll shove coal so far up your stocking you'll be coughing up diamonds. Do not try to start a raging inferno fire in the fireplace to keep him out, because he likes it hot. Close the flu and board up the chimney, ‘cause Satan Claus is on his way.

The Xmas song:
He knows when your are sleeping,
He knows when you're on the can,
He'll hunt you down and blast your ass from here to Pakistan.
You better not breathe, you better not move,
You're better off dead, I'm telling you, dude.
Santa Claus is gunning you down!
Bad little boy: Do I hear hooves on the roof?
Dad: Get the shotgun, it’s Satan Claus!
Satan: Come here little boy, you're on my list! You've been very naughty! Ho-Ho-Ho!
by Rude Dolph December 15, 2003
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