textolepsy

Textolepsy (n) It's like narcolepsy, except the patient doesn't fall asleep, they lapse into a text conversation on their phone, suddenly losing all awareness of their surroundings. Typified by slumping shoulders, twiddling of thumbs, and a smartphone several inches from the patient's face. May occur in the middle of a conversation, during a meal, in class or, in severe cases, on stage during a community theater performance. Beware that patients suffering from this disorder are rarely aware that they are drifting away or how long they have been in "the texting place". Most patients believe that they were being totally nonchalant and that their frequent texting has gone completely unnoticed when in fact it's totally obvious to everybody.

Mary: Can you believe that the bride's maid was texting during the ceremony?

Jane: I know. How did she not know that everyone could see her? I felt so embarassed for her.

Mary: Maybe she was having one of those textoleptic episodes or something.

Jane: Whatever. Fucking textoleptic idiots.

Mary: Jane, I don't like it when you talk that way. Textolepsy is a serious disease.

Jane: I know that, Mary. I've never told you before, but my mother suffered from textolepsy. *sobs*

Mary: Uh-huh.

Jane: I've never told that to anyone...

Mary: Yeah.

Jane: ...but I trust you and you always listen so well and...

Mary: Uh-huh.

Jane: ...Mary?

Mary: Yeah.

Jane: Were you texting just now?

Mary: Oh, I was just replying to my friend who sent me a funny picture and...

Jane: YOU FUCKING TEXTOLEPTIC BITCH!

by vinnypod December 7, 2012

textorrhea

The texting of abundant soft to liquified, smelly words

Getting tired of that person that keeps sending me so much textorrhea

by vetclinician August 6, 2015

textbook

A very long, exceptionally boring "book," used for teaching and torture. Usually on a subject along the lines of math, history and science. Often heavy.

Dude, my history textbook takes up so much room in my backpack!

by studybudy June 13, 2008

textpot

A textpot is someone who sends sexually explicit or provacative text messages or emails

Bob : Yo Jane ,wanna hook up 2nite?
Jane : 2nite I can't w8 2 69 w/you!!!
Bob : 2 good 2 b true, I'm there you textpot
Jane : c u @ 11, my place!!!

by hipczech January 2, 2009

textbook

typical, good example of that type of behaviour, does that thing all the time,t.b.,
often followed by the person's name

everytime i bump into her she says 'we gotta get together' (but we never do)...textbook
he bought another pair of black shoes...textbook!

by von tunkel July 6, 2010

textbook snobbery

a blind, often aggressive belief in what one's textbook says, in violation of the facts. Derived from the military term "combat snobbery."

French kid: My textbook said capitalism is evil!
Smart kid: And that's why those who live in socialist countries are so poor and unhappy?
French kid: ... but it said Americans are evil!
Smart kid: You seem to suffer from textbook snobbery, sir.

by Blazko March 10, 2008

Textbook Teacher

A "teacher" who doesn't actually know how to teach so he/she just has students read out of the textbook, memorize vocab words from the textbook and answer review questions from the textbook. Now many "textbook teachers" often use documentaries in place or with of the textbook. On rare cases a decent teacher will resort to a textbook teacher like teaching strategy because the class is to immature to handle anything else, but in 90% of cases the teacher is just lazy or stupid. These teachers classes are undoubtedly the most boring classes you'll have, and make an ideal period for napping, texting, and finishing work for other classes.

Steve: Wow, that chemistry experiment was so awesome, that kid who sits next to me almost lit the whole room on fire. It was sick! Did your class do it?

Joe: No we just read the directions for the experiment in the textbook in class. Mr. Smith is kind of a textbook teacher.

Steve: That sucks.

by Polexia December 14, 2009