Textolepsy (n) It's like narcolepsy, except the patient doesn't fall asleep, they lapse into a text conversation on their phone, suddenly losing all awareness of their surroundings. Typified by slumping shoulders, twiddling of thumbs, and a smartphone several inches from the patient's face. May occur in the middle of a conversation, during a meal, in class or, in severe cases, on stage during a community theater performance. Beware that patients suffering from this disorder are rarely aware that they are drifting away or how long they have been in "the texting place". Most patients believe that they were being totally nonchalant and that their frequent texting has gone completely unnoticed when in fact it's totally obvious to everybody.
Mary: Can you believe that the bride's maid was texting during the ceremony?
Jane: I know. How did she not know that everyone could see her? I felt so embarassed for her.
Mary: Maybe she was having one of those textoleptic episodes or something.
Jane: Whatever. Fucking textoleptic idiots.
Mary: Jane, I don't like it when you talk that way. Textolepsy is a serious disease.
Jane: I know that, Mary. I've never told you before, but my mother suffered from textolepsy. *sobs*
Mary: Uh-huh.
Jane: I've never told that to anyone...
Mary: Yeah.
Jane: ...but I trust you and you always listen so well and...
Mary: Uh-huh.
Jane: ...Mary?
Mary: Yeah.
Jane: Were you texting just now?
Mary: Oh, I was just replying to my friend who sent me a funny picture and...
Jane: YOU FUCKING TEXTOLEPTIC BITCH!
Jane: I know. How did she not know that everyone could see her? I felt so embarassed for her.
Mary: Maybe she was having one of those textoleptic episodes or something.
Jane: Whatever. Fucking textoleptic idiots.
Mary: Jane, I don't like it when you talk that way. Textolepsy is a serious disease.
Jane: I know that, Mary. I've never told you before, but my mother suffered from textolepsy. *sobs*
Mary: Uh-huh.
Jane: I've never told that to anyone...
Mary: Yeah.
Jane: ...but I trust you and you always listen so well and...
Mary: Uh-huh.
Jane: ...Mary?
Mary: Yeah.
Jane: Were you texting just now?
Mary: Oh, I was just replying to my friend who sent me a funny picture and...
Jane: YOU FUCKING TEXTOLEPTIC BITCH!
by vinnypod December 03, 2012
Whenever making a congratulatory remark, this is what you say. Made popular by Kamala Harris when she and Joe Biden won the presidency.
by Zozogabobo December 04, 2020
Guy 1: I was texting her last night, but she never responded.
Guy 2: Yeah, her textolepsy probably kicked in.
Guy 2: Yeah, her textolepsy probably kicked in.
by mr.dk December 20, 2008
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