textolepsy 

Textolepsy (n) It's like narcolepsy, except the patient doesn't fall asleep, they lapse into a text conversation on their phone, suddenly losing all awareness of their surroundings. Typified by slumping shoulders, twiddling of thumbs, and a smartphone several inches from the patient's face. May occur in the middle of a conversation, during a meal, in class or, in severe cases, on stage during a community theater performance. Beware that patients suffering from this disorder are rarely aware that they are drifting away or how long they have been in "the texting place". Most patients believe that they were being totally nonchalant and that their frequent texting has gone completely unnoticed when in fact it's totally obvious to everybody.

Mary: Can you believe that the bride's maid was texting during the ceremony?

Jane: I know. How did she not know that everyone could see her? I felt so embarassed for her.

Mary: Maybe she was having one of those textoleptic episodes or something.

Jane: Whatever. Fucking textoleptic idiots.

Mary: Jane, I don't like it when you talk that way. Textolepsy is a serious disease.

Jane: I know that, Mary. I've never told you before, but my mother suffered from textolepsy. *sobs*

Mary: Uh-huh.

Jane: I've never told that to anyone...

Mary: Yeah.

Jane: ...but I trust you and you always listen so well and...

Mary: Uh-huh.

Jane: ...Mary?

Mary: Yeah.

Jane: Were you texting just now?

Mary: Oh, I was just replying to my friend who sent me a funny picture and...

Jane: YOU FUCKING TEXTOLEPTIC BITCH!

textolepsy by vinnypod December 7, 2012

Textolepsy 

The condition that results in failure to stay awake during late night text conversations.

Guy 1: I was texting her last night, but she never responded.

Guy 2: Yeah, her textolepsy probably kicked in.

Textolepsy by mr.dk December 22, 2008

Textilepsy 

When your phone is on vibrate and it goes off when there is no message or you have a lot of texts coming in at any given time.

My phone has textilepsy, it's vibrating more than a dildo having a seizure!

Textilepsy by Lila Tourenette December 12, 2010

Cheeks 

An Irish phrase meaning shit, derived from ass
(Not to be confused with the literal description of one's buttocks)

"Did you hear the song Aylek$ dropped?"
"Hardly. Her music is absolute cheeks."

"My boyfriend say LaFlame is cheeks."
"Tell your boyfriend I said it's his mixtape that's cheeks."

Cheeks by thecartisan April 26, 2020

sans sheriff 

Lawless use of fonts or typography, with no regard to aesthetics or legibility

I'm putting this CV straight in the bin. Written totally sans sheriff.

sans sheriff by Jamarley July 3, 2019

Breadhead 

Someone who is addicted to obtaining money and building wealth. A money addict and fanatic. Breadheads often work more than one full-time job, and some even participate in illicit activities to "obtain the bread".

A breadhead is like a crackhead, but for money instead of crack.

Breadhead by 🅱️ U S 3 4 8 March 30, 2022

Stink lines

As seen in illustrations or cartoons: Wavy, vertical lines rising above a person, place or thing. Denotes a foul odor.

"You didn't put enough stink lines on your picture of the teacher."

Stink lines by Athene Airheart March 14, 2004