textolepsy

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Textolepsy (n) It's like narcolepsy, except the patient doesn't fall asleep, they lapse into a text conversation on their phone, suddenly losing all awareness of their surroundings. Typified by slumping shoulders, twiddling of thumbs, and a smartphone several inches from the patient's face. May occur in the middle of a conversation, during a meal, in class or, in severe cases, on stage during a community theater performance. Beware that patients suffering from this disorder are rarely aware that they are drifting away or how long they have been in "the texting place". Most patients believe that they were being totally nonchalant and that their frequent texting has gone completely unnoticed when in fact it's totally obvious to everybody.

Mary: Can you believe that the bride's maid was texting during the ceremony?

Jane: I know. How did she not know that everyone could see her? I felt so embarassed for her.

Mary: Maybe she was having one of those textoleptic episodes or something.

Jane: Whatever. Fucking textoleptic idiots.

Mary: Jane, I don't like it when you talk that way. Textolepsy is a serious disease.

Jane: I know that, Mary. I've never told you before, but my mother suffered from textolepsy. *sobs*

Mary: Uh-huh.

Jane: I've never told that to anyone...

Mary: Yeah.

Jane: ...but I trust you and you always listen so well and...

Mary: Uh-huh.

Jane: ...Mary?

Mary: Yeah.

Jane: Were you texting just now?

Mary: Oh, I was just replying to my friend who sent me a funny picture and...

Jane: YOU FUCKING TEXTOLEPTIC BITCH!

textolepsy by vinnypod December 7, 2012

Words you can keep

Textolepsy

The condition that results in failure to stay awake during late night text conversations.

Guy 1: I was texting her last night, but she never responded.

Guy 2: Yeah, her textolepsy probably kicked in.

Textolepsy by mr.dk December 22, 2008

Related Words

Textolepsy • Textilepsy

Textilepsy

When your phone is on vibrate and it goes off when there is no message or you have a lot of texts coming in at any given time.

My phone has textilepsy, it's vibrating more than a dildo having a seizure!

Textilepsy by Lila Tourenette December 12, 2010

Literally 1984

Used in response for when someone promotes/advocates an event or idea that is perceived to support "too much" authority and/or government control.

Often used jokingly as a over-exaggeration in political talk.

Can also be used in response to a ban or mute in a forum site or online chat.

Steve: I think that the government should regulate businesses more
Bob: Literally 1984!

--User1 has been permantly banned--
User2: You cant ban my friend like that! Literally 1984!

Literally 1984 by ke1 July 7, 2021

Word of the Day on September 1, 2026

Back when I lived in upstate new york

A meaningless, unimpressive, self-serving introduction. An indicator that the story about to be shared will be pointless and dumb.

Back when I lived in upstate new york, I also had to park on the street - on two occasions, we got enough snow, mixed with just the right plowing, that my car was lifted off the ground from so much snow being jammed underneath it.

Back when I lived in upstate new york by NDcent December 14, 2010

Word of the Day on August 31, 2026

TLDU

Acronym, meaning Too Long Didn't Understand
Similar to TLDR

Sister: This meeting was to discuss the rough draft of my essay, where we discussed the subsidiary questions I added in my rough draft. We also discussed the relationship between my main title and the real-life situations I chose to use in my essay. We discussed the structure of my essay as well, specifically the Math AOK section and how it relates to the contradiction of the title. This second meeting was particularly helpful in discussing the implications of my essay claims and how to apply the title across various areas of knowledge. There were many sections of the essay that could have been cut down in wordiness and the ways of knowing required further and more in-depth analysis.

Me: Woah! TLDU!

TLDU by L-Evans January 14, 2019

Word of the Day on August 30, 2026

Cottaging

the act of having anonymous sexual encounters with other men in public toilets.

Cottaging by greeef April 24, 2003

Word of the Day on August 29, 2026

Salad Days

green inexperienced youthful judgement and cold blooded execution of those judgements.

Rashness with little concern of consequence.

Antony and Cleopatra. William Shakespeare

"My salad days,
When I was green in judgment, cold in blood."

- William Shakespeare, Antony and Cleopatra, 1.5

"How did you end up in jail?"

"Salad days, 'nuf said."

Salad Days by GilbyRFC0 October 7, 2011

Word of the Day on August 28, 2026