The "alternate lifestyle" children's television show. Did you ever wonder what those cute, adorable characters from Sesame Street are doing today? They're still on Sodomy Street.
Bert:
While always denying he ever had a gay relationship with his long time friend Ernie, the rumors of Bert's orientation boiled to a head after the 1998 season. After suffering years of controversy, rumor and speculation, Bert finally came out of the closet and left Sesame Street early in 1999. Two years of relative obscurity followed. An autobiography was said to be in the works. Bert gravitated first to London's trendy Soho district and was once observed near a seedy gay porn shop. Bert was photographed by the press at the 2000 Disneyland "Gay-Day" celebration. In July 2001, Bert was found bludgeoned to death in a porta-potty near San Francisco's Haight-Asbury district after allegedly soliciting sex from a nearby construction worker. His cremated remains are scheduled to be launched into outer space with the resumption of NASA's Space Shuttle service in 2005.
Elmo:
In an effort to control their son's hyperactivity, Elmo's parents instituted a high dosage regimen of Ridalyn in the fall of 2003 at the behest of his school teacher. An unfortunate drug interaction ensued which brought on severe seizures. The source of the mysterious drug interaction came to light only after extensive tests showed Elmo's sustained use of LSD while on the set on Sesame Street. The unfortunate hallucinogenic drug habit had gone unchecked for years despite ominous signs on the "Elmo's World" sequences such as a walking end table, talking window shade and psychadelic home furniture. After months of suffering in a nearly catatonic, comatose state, Elmo recovered sufficiently to be placed in a juvenile detox program early in 2004. Long term brain damage was manifest in several serious sexual assault incidents in the hospital's detox program, and Elmo has been institutionalized in an undisclosed location ever since. A PBS documentary segment featuring Elmo was recently canceled after mental health advocates protested a planned scene showing a heavily sedated Elmo in a straight jacket drooling uncontrollably, shouting "Mister Noodle" in a loud voice. Ebay recently rejected the efforts of Sesame Street producers to put Elmo's former house up for bids in an auction.
Cookie Monster:
The adorable blue over-eater was initially diagnosed with bulimia early in the 2001 season. This diagnosis masked underlying problems which became evident when Cookie lost 80% of his vision after severe hypoglycemia brought on glaucoma. This was all a direct result of Cookie's chronic over-indulgence in a heavily sugar laced diet. The vision loss was unfortunate as clear symptoms persisted for years. Cookie's detached retinas should have been diagnosed much earlier as it frequently caused his pupils to violently rotate round and round on the set. Never the less, Cookie finally received proper treatment in a New York veteran's hospital (Cookie is a veteran, having served in a stateside army kitchen during the Vietnam conflict). Cookie's metabolic imbalance and hormonal deficiency (which is blamed for his uncontrollable appetite) has been addressed through a rigid regimen of therapeutic drugs following surgery to remove a goiter in his hypothalamus. Cookie was making a comeback to the limelight with a renewed involvement in an obscure orthodox church based on the defunct "PTL Ministry" of the once infamous Jim and Tammy Faye Bakker. Unfortunately, he was recently ejected from the church after several episodes of misconduct whereby Cookie would run to the altar in the middle of a services and grab the chalice screaming, "COOKEEEEEE!" He would proceed to dump the chalice into his mouth scattering half-chewed hosts all over the congregation.
Big Bird:
Big Bird was briefly arrested in a raid on an illegal overnight porn / prostitution theater in the Bronx in the winter of 2000. He proclaimed his innocence by stating "I don't think we're on Sesame Street anymore." Long known for his heavy drinking, his breath was allegedly heavy with the scent of fermented bird seed that night. Witnesses stated he was interrupting a live sex act on stage by repeatedly asking theater patrons, "Have you seen Ernie?" Despite the fact that no charges were filed, Big Bird resigned from Sesame Street two months later- his reputation irreparably ruined by the speculations of paparazzi. He now lives a secluded life on a vast mayonnaise farm in rural Manitoba and undergoes gene replacement therapy in an effort to deal with his ongoing overactive thyroid.
Count VonCount:
The Count- long famous for counting everything- had severely dehydrated and exhausted himself in 1998 while attempting to count the atoms in his left hand. Tirelessly forgoing meals, drink and sleep for days in a row, he passed out in a delusional state after attaining exponential notation. The reclusive Count was rushed to the hospital where it was further determined he had sustained several bites from a rabid bat. It was at this time he began to seek psychiatric counseling to deal with his obsessive-compulsive disorder. In 2003 upon attempting to purchase an airline ticket to "Transylvania", the Transportation Security Administration placed the Count on the "No Fly" list and he was apparently under FBI and CIA scrutiny. A subsequent raid on his mansion by the ATF, FBI, TSA, INS, CIA, SSA, UPS and the Boy Scouts was conducted. A device resembling a theater organ was seized- apparently a weapon of mass destruction. Currently the Count is detained at Camp X-Ray awaiting trial.
Ernie:
Having survived the many rumors of his gay relationship with his long-standing live-in friend Bert, Ernie left Sesame Street late in 1999 to work for a firm in Hoboken, NJ which manufactures dance floor sawdust. Thrice divorced, he never strays far from his extensive security detail stating, "I value my (expletive deleted) privacy. That damn bird continues to go on those (expletive deleted) journeys to find me to this very (expletive deleted) day." Ernie has been active in the NRA and is said to be a close friend of actor Robert Blake. Ernie recently made news with his fundraising efforts to erect a statue in Washington D.C. curiously dedicated to Wroclaw Staniskowski, an obscure 19th century Polish diplomat.
Snuffleupagus:
Porn star popular in the Netherlands.
Grover:
The lovable traveling monster was written off Sesame Street in the winter of 2001 after his untimely death (the show wrote him off in a "Super Grover" episode involving an accident whereby he crash landed into a high voltage substation). While his actual death was technically ruled a pedestrian accident (he was hit by a commuter train in October 2001), speculation abounds that Grover's demise was actually a suicide. These rumors were fueled after Grover's years of anti-depressant medication use came to light. The drugs ostensibly were used to deal with his wide mood swings. Rumored to be manic-depressive for years, Grover subsidized his many chronic globe-trotting vacations through heavy investments in the stocks of his long standing friend, Martha Stewart as well as Enron stock options.
Oscar the Grouch:
Arrested on a public indecency charge in 1998, he claimed he only solicited the undercover policewoman prostitute "to talk trash". The event was quietly dismissed on a technicality and Oscar continued on Sesame Street until an online porn sting netted him in 2001 for peddling online garbage. While extensive use of rotten attorneys got him out of the can on reduced charges, Oscar left the Sesame Street set that same year and is said to be working with long-standing friends, Larry Flynt and Pee Wee Herman star Paul Reuben on a children's movie supposedly titled, "You're Screwed Up and That's Ok".
Bert:
While always denying he ever had a gay relationship with his long time friend Ernie, the rumors of Bert's orientation boiled to a head after the 1998 season. After suffering years of controversy, rumor and speculation, Bert finally came out of the closet and left Sesame Street early in 1999. Two years of relative obscurity followed. An autobiography was said to be in the works. Bert gravitated first to London's trendy Soho district and was once observed near a seedy gay porn shop. Bert was photographed by the press at the 2000 Disneyland "Gay-Day" celebration. In July 2001, Bert was found bludgeoned to death in a porta-potty near San Francisco's Haight-Asbury district after allegedly soliciting sex from a nearby construction worker. His cremated remains are scheduled to be launched into outer space with the resumption of NASA's Space Shuttle service in 2005.
Elmo:
In an effort to control their son's hyperactivity, Elmo's parents instituted a high dosage regimen of Ridalyn in the fall of 2003 at the behest of his school teacher. An unfortunate drug interaction ensued which brought on severe seizures. The source of the mysterious drug interaction came to light only after extensive tests showed Elmo's sustained use of LSD while on the set on Sesame Street. The unfortunate hallucinogenic drug habit had gone unchecked for years despite ominous signs on the "Elmo's World" sequences such as a walking end table, talking window shade and psychadelic home furniture. After months of suffering in a nearly catatonic, comatose state, Elmo recovered sufficiently to be placed in a juvenile detox program early in 2004. Long term brain damage was manifest in several serious sexual assault incidents in the hospital's detox program, and Elmo has been institutionalized in an undisclosed location ever since. A PBS documentary segment featuring Elmo was recently canceled after mental health advocates protested a planned scene showing a heavily sedated Elmo in a straight jacket drooling uncontrollably, shouting "Mister Noodle" in a loud voice. Ebay recently rejected the efforts of Sesame Street producers to put Elmo's former house up for bids in an auction.
Cookie Monster:
The adorable blue over-eater was initially diagnosed with bulimia early in the 2001 season. This diagnosis masked underlying problems which became evident when Cookie lost 80% of his vision after severe hypoglycemia brought on glaucoma. This was all a direct result of Cookie's chronic over-indulgence in a heavily sugar laced diet. The vision loss was unfortunate as clear symptoms persisted for years. Cookie's detached retinas should have been diagnosed much earlier as it frequently caused his pupils to violently rotate round and round on the set. Never the less, Cookie finally received proper treatment in a New York veteran's hospital (Cookie is a veteran, having served in a stateside army kitchen during the Vietnam conflict). Cookie's metabolic imbalance and hormonal deficiency (which is blamed for his uncontrollable appetite) has been addressed through a rigid regimen of therapeutic drugs following surgery to remove a goiter in his hypothalamus. Cookie was making a comeback to the limelight with a renewed involvement in an obscure orthodox church based on the defunct "PTL Ministry" of the once infamous Jim and Tammy Faye Bakker. Unfortunately, he was recently ejected from the church after several episodes of misconduct whereby Cookie would run to the altar in the middle of a services and grab the chalice screaming, "COOKEEEEEE!" He would proceed to dump the chalice into his mouth scattering half-chewed hosts all over the congregation.
Big Bird:
Big Bird was briefly arrested in a raid on an illegal overnight porn / prostitution theater in the Bronx in the winter of 2000. He proclaimed his innocence by stating "I don't think we're on Sesame Street anymore." Long known for his heavy drinking, his breath was allegedly heavy with the scent of fermented bird seed that night. Witnesses stated he was interrupting a live sex act on stage by repeatedly asking theater patrons, "Have you seen Ernie?" Despite the fact that no charges were filed, Big Bird resigned from Sesame Street two months later- his reputation irreparably ruined by the speculations of paparazzi. He now lives a secluded life on a vast mayonnaise farm in rural Manitoba and undergoes gene replacement therapy in an effort to deal with his ongoing overactive thyroid.
Count VonCount:
The Count- long famous for counting everything- had severely dehydrated and exhausted himself in 1998 while attempting to count the atoms in his left hand. Tirelessly forgoing meals, drink and sleep for days in a row, he passed out in a delusional state after attaining exponential notation. The reclusive Count was rushed to the hospital where it was further determined he had sustained several bites from a rabid bat. It was at this time he began to seek psychiatric counseling to deal with his obsessive-compulsive disorder. In 2003 upon attempting to purchase an airline ticket to "Transylvania", the Transportation Security Administration placed the Count on the "No Fly" list and he was apparently under FBI and CIA scrutiny. A subsequent raid on his mansion by the ATF, FBI, TSA, INS, CIA, SSA, UPS and the Boy Scouts was conducted. A device resembling a theater organ was seized- apparently a weapon of mass destruction. Currently the Count is detained at Camp X-Ray awaiting trial.
Ernie:
Having survived the many rumors of his gay relationship with his long-standing live-in friend Bert, Ernie left Sesame Street late in 1999 to work for a firm in Hoboken, NJ which manufactures dance floor sawdust. Thrice divorced, he never strays far from his extensive security detail stating, "I value my (expletive deleted) privacy. That damn bird continues to go on those (expletive deleted) journeys to find me to this very (expletive deleted) day." Ernie has been active in the NRA and is said to be a close friend of actor Robert Blake. Ernie recently made news with his fundraising efforts to erect a statue in Washington D.C. curiously dedicated to Wroclaw Staniskowski, an obscure 19th century Polish diplomat.
Snuffleupagus:
Porn star popular in the Netherlands.
Grover:
The lovable traveling monster was written off Sesame Street in the winter of 2001 after his untimely death (the show wrote him off in a "Super Grover" episode involving an accident whereby he crash landed into a high voltage substation). While his actual death was technically ruled a pedestrian accident (he was hit by a commuter train in October 2001), speculation abounds that Grover's demise was actually a suicide. These rumors were fueled after Grover's years of anti-depressant medication use came to light. The drugs ostensibly were used to deal with his wide mood swings. Rumored to be manic-depressive for years, Grover subsidized his many chronic globe-trotting vacations through heavy investments in the stocks of his long standing friend, Martha Stewart as well as Enron stock options.
Oscar the Grouch:
Arrested on a public indecency charge in 1998, he claimed he only solicited the undercover policewoman prostitute "to talk trash". The event was quietly dismissed on a technicality and Oscar continued on Sesame Street until an online porn sting netted him in 2001 for peddling online garbage. While extensive use of rotten attorneys got him out of the can on reduced charges, Oscar left the Sesame Street set that same year and is said to be working with long-standing friends, Larry Flynt and Pee Wee Herman star Paul Reuben on a children's movie supposedly titled, "You're Screwed Up and That's Ok".
It's no wonder why Frank turned out to be such a fucked up individual. His parents did LSD before he was born and after he was born, he watched Sodomy Street every day.
by Frank Klaune May 3, 2005
Get the Sodomy Street mug.Basically the nicest guy in the world. He will never make fun of you and you can talk to him about ANYTHING. He keeps his promises and will never tell anyone your secrets. A girl would love to have a solomon as a best friend.
Girl 1: I met this guy yesterday, he's such a solomon!
Girl 2: *sighs wistfully* I wish I had a solomon!!
Girl 2: *sighs wistfully* I wish I had a solomon!!
by Ahhmazingpersoneverrrrr August 21, 2011
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A word used to define a person that lived in the biblical city of Sodom which was then destroyed by god due to the fact that the men living in Sodom spent 90% of their time buttfucking each other. in modern times the word "Sodomite" refers to the residents of any city on the West Coast of the United States.
by big daddy sausage head April 9, 2006
Get the Sodomite mug.The act of shoving a gun (preferably a rifle or shotgun) into the anus of someone keeping a fact from you, and then threatening to pull the trigger if they don't tell you whatever you want to know.
Michael: Damnit Jake, tell me who tea-bagged me at last night's party!
Jake: No! I'll never tell!
Michael: Then say hello to my little friend, the Sodomizing Gun of Truth!
Jake: Oh shit! Okay fine, it was that fag Redgy!
Michael: Wrong answer bitch!
Jake: No I'm a virgin!
Michael: Spread em'!
Shotgun: (BOOM!)
Jake's Anus: (kersplat)!!!
Michael: That fool, he should've known that Redgy was to busy giving that other queer Ben a Cleveland Steamer to come and tea-bag me!
Jake: No! I'll never tell!
Michael: Then say hello to my little friend, the Sodomizing Gun of Truth!
Jake: Oh shit! Okay fine, it was that fag Redgy!
Michael: Wrong answer bitch!
Jake: No I'm a virgin!
Michael: Spread em'!
Shotgun: (BOOM!)
Jake's Anus: (kersplat)!!!
Michael: That fool, he should've known that Redgy was to busy giving that other queer Ben a Cleveland Steamer to come and tea-bag me!
by FannyFondler and WaffleMan September 16, 2008
Get the Sodomizing Gun of Truth mug.A upper middle class university in the CSU system. There are many good things about Sonoma State, such as the Rec Center, Amechis Pizza, and the many bike locks around campus. Sonoma State is also known for having a bunch of "yuppie" and "spoiled kids" attend this institution, as it is the riches CSU in the entire system. The school is also predominantly white, but is working on increasing diversity. Several legendary figures have come out of Sonoma State such as the Seawolf mascot, and thats about it. The fraternity's at Sonoma State have a reputation for hazing/demoralizing and humiliating treatment towards incoming freshman. There have been many alcohol related incidents over the years involving fraternity's such as TKE, SAE and a few others. These fraternity's have also contributed to the high number of sexual assaults on campus each year. The police are very strict on campus, and do not like wise guys at all. Sonoma State is a affluent uppity school with its own unique problems, but at the same time the same problems many other institutions across the nation face.
SSU Student: It smells like the Sonoma Aroma around here, thats not what it smelled like over in Beverly Hills, I want to transfer out of Sonoma State University back to Princeton!
Frat Boy: Hey boys I just joined TKE and I got to do the elephant walk! It was amazing, I love my Big! I love Sonoma State University!
Sonoma State University Police: **Psssshhh** Chirp** Breaker Breaker 31 we have some kids over here smoking marijuana, send all units avaible and the K-9, we may need a sniper and swat team stand by...
Frat Boy: Hey boys I just joined TKE and I got to do the elephant walk! It was amazing, I love my Big! I love Sonoma State University!
Sonoma State University Police: **Psssshhh** Chirp** Breaker Breaker 31 we have some kids over here smoking marijuana, send all units avaible and the K-9, we may need a sniper and swat team stand by...
by KellyPisanoLovesJesusNOTTT October 16, 2010
Get the Sonoma State University mug.The Wine Country
If someone says Napa county is the wine country. They are wrong. Simply because Sonoma County has More wine, and most of the wine is better.
Also a very expensive place to live, and on top of that a lot of people who live there spend more money on wine per year than many peoples annual income.
If someone says Napa county is the wine country. They are wrong. Simply because Sonoma County has More wine, and most of the wine is better.
Also a very expensive place to live, and on top of that a lot of people who live there spend more money on wine per year than many peoples annual income.
P1, Ever been to the Wine country?
P2, You mean Napa? Yes I have been there.
P1, Pshht Napa is nothing compared to Sonoma county
P2, You mean Napa? Yes I have been there.
P1, Pshht Napa is nothing compared to Sonoma county
by Connorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr July 24, 2007
Get the Sonoma County mug.Snomping is the term given to the using of mobile phones to access Snomp websites (Social Networks On Mobile Phones) thus Snomping literally means Social Networking on Mobile Phones.
A Snomper is someone who networks on (a member off or user off) a Snomp website.
A Snomp website is a social networking website developed for people to use and operate on mobile phones.
The word Snomp is derived from the phrase ‘Social Networking On Mobile Phones’.
A Snomper is someone who networks on (a member off or user off) a Snomp website.
A Snomp website is a social networking website developed for people to use and operate on mobile phones.
The word Snomp is derived from the phrase ‘Social Networking On Mobile Phones’.
In 2007 facebook & myspace joined the Snomping trend with mobile versions of their popular social networking websites.
by xx_anna_xx May 12, 2008
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