captain kirk

verb - The act of pushing toilet paper up you hole and twisting it around to make sure you are extra clean up there because much like the legendary star trek commander you are boldly going where no mans gone before in order to circle Uranus in search of Klingons!

I was sure she was going to toss my salad so I Captain Kirked real good

by Johnny DeWadd Watkins December 11, 2008

captain Crunch

when you stick cereal in the girl's pussy, then the guy fucks her and cums in her, finishing it off with 'the milk', then eats it all

he ate the whole bowl of life cereal right before my eyes! dam that was a good captain Crunch

by Adonay October 3, 2007

captain crabsticks

a person who for reasons only known to himself can live for 17 years on crabsticks alone. he realy likes them

jordan stop eating those crapsticks or you'll turn into captain crabsticks

by the one and only kyle January 18, 2005

Captain Planet High

Level of highness where, when smoking a marijuana joint with 3 or more different kinds of weed, their powers combine to equal something more than the sum of their parts alone; Like Captain Planet.

"Man, I got so baked when I smoked that joint. We used 3 kinds of weed which were only so powerful individually, but with their powers combined, we became, Captain Planet High!!!!"

by Muddy Run November 8, 2008

Captain Jack

'Captain Jack' is the name given to a lad that 'harpoons' the 'Kracken' courageously and lives to tell the tale.

While they don't tend to remember the details in their toxicated state, others thoughtfully remind 'Captain Jack' of his adventures.

Usually quite often, in a banterous manner, dependent on the ferocity and ugliness/fatness of the Kracken. Being called Jack is also a factor.

Can be found at the same party as a 'chundersaurus rex'.

- 'Captain Jack! How're you feeling?'
- 'Whaaat?'
- 'Captain Jack? Y'know, you seriously harpooned the Kracken last night. So brave.'
- 'What are you on? I'm still hanging mate.'
- 'Ha, YOU BONED A FUGLY SLUT'
- 'Fuck.' (or other suitable expletive)

by 925ale December 3, 2011

Captain Insano

An individual who may or may not be at fault for their habitual stupidity due to their bi-polar nature and lack of general common sense.

- See also: asshat

As an ostrich puts its head in the sand when threatened, Captain Insano relies on a protective cranial-rectal inversion to ward off intelligence and common sense.

by Anon E Moose December 4, 2003

Captain Kirk

Masturbate.

Rhyming slang: jerk (off)

Seven of Nine, T'Pol, Uhura, Jadzia Dax and Councellor Troi all make me want to sneak off to the holodeck and have a quick Captain kirk.

by Masked Avenger Dude June 20, 2010