Texas Police Officer

“Texas police officer”:

A sex act where you take off your clothes and then sit in bed checking your phone for an hour and a half, and then eventually some other dude walks in and does the job for you.

"Hey Peter, how was the orgy last night?"

"Wasn't bad, though I did pull a Texas Police officer. I wasn't too happy with the wife, but I made the wrong decision. What can ya do?"

by Roomba69 May 28, 2022

gnome office

a home office on a front lawn (or park).

Wow that crew out front has the gnome office situation on lock down.

by Ah Real Monsters May 9, 2015

office fridge

Demon hellscape on Earth filled with rotten fish and hummus that some poor unfortunate soul has to clean annually. Or it just rots and becomes sentient.

Travis left his fucking fishdick sandwich in the office fridge and now it's grown legs and is self-aware.

by Emmie The Spiteful January 2, 2018

first officer

When you are second in command to a legend who is the Captain but who very quickly realises that the first officer has total control

I sailed my boat as first officer before quickly becoming the captain

by J_gogo September 19, 2020

going into the office

Meetings and chit-chat till 12:00, pub until 15:00 then "wobbly pool" until 16:30 then home.

I'll be in bed by eight tonight I'm "going into the office" today.

by mokeyknifefight March 10, 2022

office unicorn

That girl at work who is beyond everyone you have ever met's standards because she is both ridiculously attractive and also really really nice to everyone to the point it drives you all insane. Almost always has a boyfriend who is almost always a total dick.

Max: fuck holly looks incredible today
Me: yeah she's definitely the office unicorn

by lachyisded3 July 22, 2017

office lightweight

A person in the office environment, who claims to put in 110% for the good of the office, can talk the talk, but struggles to walk the walk (or simply unable to achieve anything).

Peer response manifests as frustration or mocking of the said individual.

The Office Lightweight is usually a person from middle management.

Person A: "So I asked Kelvin for a day off, as my wife's in hospital. Bloody prick said no worries... my roster came out and had we working 25hrs that day....FFS"

Person B: "Yeah Kelvin is a real Office Lightweight. Next time just call in sick"

by The_Mannn September 15, 2019