Meetings 

An old tradition used by people to gather before the creation of the Internet.

Back in the 1900s, people would gather in meetings to solve problems. But once the Internet was invented, there was no need. Although for many years, stupid people would still find them to be important.

Meetings by adventurini April 27, 2015

Death by 1000 meetings 

As the modern form of an ancient torture, death by 1000 meetings is defined as the annihilation of a project, action or ultimately a person due to time wasted in having to attend a seemingly infinite amount of non-productive meetings.

This is in direct correlation to the mathematical theory which states WORK = 1 / MEETINGS, as the amount of meetings increases, the amount of tangible work gets divided to oblivion.

Bob: What happened to the billion dollar R&D project that Joe was working on?
Mary: Death by 1000 meetings

Rick: Hey I thought you were working on that perpetual motion machine, why hasn't anything progressed in the last 3 years?
Jason: Death by 1000 meetings

Mark: Did you hear about the case of fiscal insolvency of a city over in California?
Ann: Sure did, yet another case of death by 1000 meetings!

Death by 1000 meetings by Max86 February 10, 2014

Ba Meetings 

"Beans Anonymous" . . . a weekly occurring gathering of disciples (see Eric2) to overcome their beans addiction. Ran by Chief Head Master Holy God Lord OverLord WarLord SupremeLord Doctor Professor PhD ABC 123 McNuggets. There is often music from bands such as Bean Day, Kasabean, Ocean Color Bean and Heinz Ferdinand. For snacks they eat bean flavored crisps, bean flavored peanuts, bean flavored crackers and beans.

Hey, McNuggets! When are the next Ba Meetings scheduled for?

Ba Meetings by Probably . . . November 22, 2013

tempted to touch meetings

it's when you are in church and the priest is talking to everyone. then fen fen girl decided to sing tempted to touch while he is preaching.

when father fred was preaching at our weekly tempted to touch meetings, fen fen busted out with her own rendition of tempted to touch during his sermon.

tempted to touch meetings by lj March 25, 2005

monthly meetings

weak

weak, monthly meetings

monthly meetings by Tad Poles May 26, 2010

alternative anonymous meetings 

Refers to the more light-hearted/trivial-affliction-related (i.e., non-substance-abuse or other serious-addiction-type condition) gatherings of sufferers where everyone shares life-stories and fellowship, and tries to assist each other in reducing/alleviating said unfortunate conditions/infirmities. Examples would include Belchers Anonymous (at all the other meetings listed here, they serve you tasty carbonated drinks, but at this meeting, you only get non-fizzy libation so that you won't start burping!), Bellyachers Anonymous, Colliders Anonymous (for folks who often clumsily blunder into objects/people), Foot-steppers Anonymous (again, this would be for those of you who don't adequately watch where you're walking, and so you accidentally tread on others' toes a lot), Groaners Anonymous (they seat you in chairs with heating-pads and offer you pain-relievers), Grumblers Anonymous, Stumblers Anonymous, Whiners Anonymous, Yawners Anonymous (at all the other meetings they let you sit on comfy upholstered chairs, but here they make you sit on hard wooden benches so that you don't get too relaxed and then start sleepily displaying your tonsils), etc.

One amusing fact about alternative anonymous meetings is that quite a number of any particular meeting's attendees may also suffer from a lot of the maladies and shortcomings addressed in other anonymous meetings, as well (i.e., achy people who copiously moan and groan also tend to complain a lot and mindlessly bumble into and/or step on the feet of unsuspecting souls unfortunate enough to happen to be in their paths), and so you tend to see a lot of familiar faces at many of the various meetings.

alternative anonymous meetings by QuacksO July 12, 2019

Meeting Tourettes 

When attending a meeting so bad, dire or tiresome that an inner urge to issue profanities spills over into your exchange with colleagues or meeting obsessed morons.

Chair : and now shall we proceed on to any other business?
You : what the **** have we been ******* for the last two hours, I am wasting my ******* life here
Chair : you have Meeting Tourettes, please **** off

Meeting Tourettes by Teraknor January 27, 2014