Fat nonce

A large boy who likes kids under 12

That kid over there is a fat nonce

by Mikeford November 1, 2021

No Nonce November

During the month of November, all good nonces are called to curb their noncery.
If they behave they may get more lenient treatment and be more respected for their commitment

Nick: Well Pete, it's that time of year again. We'll have to leave those kids alone for a while

Pete: It's No Nonce November again?

Nick: Yep

Pete: Cock!

by NonceNick November 2, 2021

Massive nonce

A massive nonce is a man that you would usually find behind your local Tesco who really likes children.

Alexander: Do you know Tony? David: Yeah he's the one who's a massive nonce right?

by sigma sugma September 8, 2021

One nonce, one noose

A maxim which states the only appropriate way of deadling with paedophiles

Jim: We need to show sex offenders compassion Steve: No way. One nonce, one noose.

by peronasunlight September 20, 2021

croc nonce

Someone who is perhaps a bit too fond of crocs (you know who you are). These people typically own many pairs of crocs and scorn those who wear cheap off brand crocs. One can never trust a croc nonce as you may find them attempting to rob your sock drawer.

Persoñ: "Ted has loads of crocs and now I don't have any socks because they went missing after he visited last week"

Pêrson: "He must be a croc nonce"

by NonceNick October 17, 2021

seaming nonce

A seaming nonce is a right fat fucker, don’t trust them, they’ll steal all ur canteen money with one waffled

“She such a seaming nonce, can’t stand her”

by Brendon.is.queen December 10, 2021

Cat Nonce

Someone who puts their middle finger up the rectum of a cat

Oi Tom, how many times do you need telling, get your finger out the cats arse! Stop being a cat nonce

by Manz a fish cuz December 16, 2021