wood

Slang term meaning the perfect size penis that's course in texture.

I need some wood.

by Danese La Johnson May 17, 2022

Wood

A type of cigar used for smoking cannabis

Shannaa: Don’t break the wood

by Shannaa August 13, 2022

Wood

A backwoods cigar. Sometimes its can be filled with marijuana or other substances.

Tyrone - I'm gonna go smoke wood with my niggas down the block

by Mad jelly October 24, 2022

Wood

A backwoods cigar. Often times when being reffered to as wood the person smoking the cigar is not using tabacco, but rather marijuana or other substances.

Tyone - Imma go smoke some wood with my niggas down the block.

by Mad jelly October 24, 2022

Wood

Short for “Hollywood” (aka Massive Cocaine Line)

That man’s rippin an absolute wood!!!!!!

by YouWood January 7, 2023

Wood

Whenever you are in the woods Joe Bernthal comes out of no where and shouts "there in the wooods"

A sentence that includes this is ... Andrea was doing target practice and shane said "there in the wood(wooooooooods) there in the rv"

by Mr McLightswitch February 19, 2023

Wood

Yeah, this is going to be dope. I might do like a Samson one next.

*WHCH!*

Jesus "Ow."

*WHCH!*

Jesus "Ow. "

Guard "Alright now... Carry the wood."

Jesus "Okie dokie. OOF! That feels WAY heavier than I thought it would! It's weird being on the other side of it...."

Guard "Go!"

Jesus "Yeah, no I didn't make these meat Gundams very well..."

*Crowd clamoring in the background*

Father 😨 "What in the fuck is happening right now...?"

Crowd "Kill Jesus! Meh!"

Father "You KNOW he didn't do anything!"

Jesus "Ope... Going down... *THUD!*"

Guard "You there! What's your name?"

Father "Huh? Uh.... Simon? Simon of Cyrene."

Guard "Help him carry the thing. Help him carry the wood."

Father "Do you know even who you're talking to right... You know what? Whatever"

*Lifts wood*

Jesus "Hey *Father*! Er, oh... Heheheh."

Father "Yeahyeah, very funny."

Jesus "I think so. Yeah."

Father *exasperated sigh*

Jesus "I don't think that guard likes me very much."

Father "Yeah... I think I'm going to burn him alive later..."

Jesus "Heheheh."

Father "Tsk! This is dumb. Why are you doing this?"

Jesus "Yeah... I don't know.... What else is there to do?"

Father 😧 "Um... I don't know, I guess. I don't like this..."

Jesus "Hey, not too late to save me."

Father "From what!?"

Jesus "Heh... Alright. Here we are."

Guard "Alright. Move along."

Father 😡 *Disgruntled mumbling* "Gonna move that fucking flesh along... Right offa that fucking skeleton of yours..." 😤

Guard "Alright. Let's nail him to the wood and get out of here."

*Hammering noises*

Jesus "Ow."

Guard *Stabs Jesus and walks away*

Jesus "Hey! Ouch! That is sharp...."

Dismas "Oh Lord! Please! Please forgive me!"

Jesus "Ok."

Gestas "Hey, why don't you just use your God magic, huh?"

Jesus "Ok."

Crow *Lands next to Gestas*

Gestas "AAAAAH! AAAH! MY EYES! AAAAAARRGH!!!"

Jesus "Heheheh... This is fun. You guys are fun... Hey... I'm getting cold... This... This feels weird... *Father*! Why have you forsaken me!? Heheheh..."

Father *Disgruntled groan* "GodIhateyousomuchrightnow..."

by Hym Iam August 11, 2023