Velvet Log

When you take a perfect shit that comes out so clean that you don't need to wipe.

Hey man, I just took a dump and didn't even need to wipe, it was a velvet log.

by AmPlefU June 23, 2009

velociraptor

The dinosaur version of a ninja. Once you see one of these things, you're pretty much screwed.

Holy shit! A velociraptor! Everybody run!

by rossdwp March 10, 2009

velcro bush

Pubic hair (of a girl) that is so long and curly that it catches your hand in it like Velcro.

Christy: Why won't you move your hand out of my private area?
Ben: I can't, you have a velcro bush!

by SnuffC May 4, 2009

velcrotard

Velcrotard (vel-crow-tard) - noun:

1 Someone that is intellectually inept; slow; stupid. An insinuation that someone is so stupid they cannot learn to tie their own shoes.

Person A: Hey, did you hear Brandon got caught with a 15 year old?

Person B: Really? Somehow I'm not surprised. He's pretty fucking stupid sometimes.

Person A: Yeah man, he's a real velcrotard.

by JayrAir October 15, 2010

Velvet Hurricane

An extremely good blow job involving mouth, hands, tongue, all working together in fast extreme motions like a hurricane but soft like velvet for great pleasure. Pretty much the most amazing thing ever. Porn star grade head. Definitely as good as sex. End result is loud moaning and extreme body tension and pulsating.

-"Dude that was like the best head I've ever gotten. It was like a... velvet hurricane!"

-"I definitely just got a velvet hurricane. It was awesome!"

by John the Baptist 69 June 12, 2011

Red Velvet Man

A man's man. A man that people typically associate with red velvet, as he is that good: as good as red velvet.

"Dude, did you hear that Jake just saved a man from a burning building?"
"I'd expect that. That bitch is a real Red Velvet Man.
Hero
Savior
Righteous
badass

by HohnJodges March 21, 2017

Velcrocity

The amount of velcro-ability something has; the strength of velcro on an object.

The couch has a higher velcrocity than the glass; the glass has minimal velcrocity.

The velcro on my bag has too much velcrocity; it is hard to open.

by Tigress420 December 10, 2008