Clench Defender

A straight male who attempts to protect himself from rape by clenching his buttcheeks together. Can commonly be observed in prison showers.

Prisoner 1: Look at Billy over there... he’s clenching his cheeks real tight.
Prisoner 2: Must be cause he dropped the soap... he must be a clench defender.

Tyrone: Shit mayne... I’m still comin for that double-wide surprise *inhales* gawd dayummm.

by Pooperfuc420tits April 27, 2020

Pee-Wee Defense

The Peewee Defense is the defense employed during an argument by somebody who is bad at debate (or is trying to argue a really stupid point), generally when all other forms of defense have been exhausted or they otherwise run out of options. It consists of one individual attempting to turn the debate against the opponent by accusing them of the exact same statements being used by the opponent.

"Only an idiot would rely on the Pee-Wee Defense to win an argument."
"I know you are, but what am I?"

by Kipu October 23, 2013

National Defense Authorization Act

Reason the "land of the free" A.K.A., the U.S.A, will lose all meaning and could very be the REAL apocalypse in 2012. Simply put, learning the Bill of Rights in school was a waste.

In a 93-7 vote, declares the entire USA to be a "battleground" upon which U.S. military forces can operate with impunity, overriding Posse Comitatus and granting the military the unchecked power to arrest, detain, interrogate and even assassinate U.S. citizens with impunity.

CANADIAN PERSON: What's this National Defense Authorization Act I've been hearing about, ay? Something about rights?

AMERICAN PERSON: I used to stand up for my rights.....but then I took an arrow in the knee.

by FreedomRider December 16, 2011

cover 2 defense

Borrowed from football terminology, this is the protective posture assumed by any guy who thinks he is about to get hit in the nads. The dude quickly closes his legs and shields his crotch with both hands so that he doesn't get racked.

I told him that his Mom was hot and then immediately went into the cover 2 defense.

by whiteboyDJ October 28, 2009

anti-slut defense

A female defense mechanism to ensure that others can will not, or should not, label her as a slut. These can be either excuses, resistance to advances, or blaming others for her choices.

Girl: "I can't sleep with you, I don't really know you."
Guy: "Ok, the anti-slut defenses have triggered I see"

by backtrackdefine June 27, 2016

The Defender

Noun
Origin: The Simpsons
"The Defender" is a large cinder block on a chain. it is used by swinging in a circular motion to bash people's skulls in.

Bart: Omg, someone's broken into our house!

Homer: Bart, get the Defender!

by qwerty_21 November 23, 2009

Home Defense Musket

A copypasta talking about the use of american revolution weaponry as home defense weaponry

Home Defense Musket: Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.

by Fueled by adhd November 11, 2021