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the Crumps

Unlike more common venereal diseases, 'the Crumps' is a sexually transmitted infection of such resiliance, David Hasselhoff is said to be heard singing in the ear of the afflicted as their genitals finally crumble. Thought to have originated in Yorkshire when a radioactive pubic louse bit an unsuspecting young rugby player on the cock. Symptoms include but are not limited to:
Thick, cloudy or bloody discharge from the penis or vagina
Metallic rings appearing on the genitals
Painful bowel movements
Severe adverse reaction to alcohol
Poor life choices
Listen, and understand. You've caught the Crumps. It can't be reasoned with. It doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are dead.

If you've been stabbed and then you get shot, the stabbing is nothing. It's the same with HIV and the Crumps.
by The third attempt May 17, 2018
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stomach crumples

basically another phrase for ‘butterflies’ when you get that feeling in your belly if someone is hot or has done something attractive.
scarlet: lol look at that guy across the street
alyssa: fjdjsahhhhh
scarlet: have you got stomach crumples?
alyssa: yea 😭
by imkenmasgirl October 8, 2020
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Related Words

Flumping Crumpet

An idiotic person in a situation most atrocious.
Referring to the stupidity of a Flump (Marshmallow) and a Crumpet (Small griddle bread)
Person 1: I just fell off a bridge and luckily Lefty Kreh was there to save me
Person 2: What in the world were you thinking you flumping crumpet
by Cracked egg in aberdale December 31, 2022
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Well butter my crumpets

An expression of incruligerity at the fact that something has happened or something is true. Could also be seen as shock at a given situation.
Man City just lost to Burnley 3-2 after being 2 ahead with only 10 mins to go. "Well butter my crumpets, would you look at that."
by Cheesy Chips April 2, 2020
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mr. crumpet

A type of male who is so attractive and stunning that you can’t help but call him a Mr. Crumpet. He looks as delicious as a british black tea with a side of crumpets and jam; you could indulge in him all day. Often british men are referred to as Mr. Crumpet because they enjoy crumpets while looking like a delicious snack at the same time.
Oh my goodness... Hector is such a Mr. Crumpet! He’s delicious!!

Wow, did you see Sherman today? Looks like he might be next on our Mr. Crumpet list!!
by ominousmuffin5678 May 4, 2019
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butt crumpets

Paul hadn't taken a shower in a while, and he had gross butt crumpets.
by jam13 September 14, 2006
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Nick Crompton

My collar is significantly better than your and I was not born in the area inside of a city, inside a county , inside a state, inside a country, on a continent, on a planet, which is in a solar system, in a universe, named Compton, but my city is England. -Nick Crompton 2017
by LtPrime August 19, 2017
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