Jesus Lizard 

A lizard that can run across the water at sub-sonic speeds.

Dude: "Jesus Christ, what was that?!"

Mang: "Jesus Lizard, Dude."

Jesus Lizard by Insaneplanet August 13, 2004

jesus weld 

1. The raised line running sagittal along the median of the scrotum. Formed prenatally in the first trimester when the potential labia fuse together. Most notable after swimming in cold water. So named because this is where Jesus "welded" the scrotum together.
2. That line on the nutsack going from the gooch to the dons.

"Lisa licked all up on my Jesus weld last night."

jesus weld by Homeless Kevin June 25, 2006

Jesus cake

Something which tastes so freakin' good it must have been made by Jesus.

Tim: Wow. This food is great!

James: Yeah, I know. It must be a Jesus cake.

Jesus cake by am138 September 11, 2009

jesus porras 

Jesus Porras is a man who is just the most goregous and friendliest person you'll meet in your life if you ever run into him make sure you talk to him he won't bite he may look intimidating at first but he is a complete sweetheart he is the most loving person. He is also up for any challenge you throw at him even if he knows it might be dangerous. He has a body that'll make you fall in love, the voice of an angel, a smile that'll light up the room, so funny that he'll make you have a six pack by the end of the class. He is very outgoing athletic responsible people person loving caring passionate about everything he is also a ladies man girls are always around him can't even keep there eyes off of him and can't stop thinking about him he even makes guys cum in there pants when they see him

jesus porras

jesus porras by Ashley Nicole Alva November 7, 2011

Jesus was a furry 

A theory first posited by C S Lewis in The Chronicles of Narnia.

Jesus was a furry, and his fursona was a lion named Aslan.

Jesus was a furry by Queen Buttrix February 9, 2021

Jesus Early 

A time when it is so early that Jesus Christ would not be fully rested after sleeping.
See also: Jesus Hot, Jesus Cold, Jesus Lot, Jesus Sweet, Jesus Late, and Jesus Early

I had to get up Jesus Early for work the other day. I mean, I fell asleep and didn't even awake when my face landed in the deep frier. Someone had to pull me out.

Jesus Early by not_michael October 11, 2004

Jesus himself 

When an event or person is so godly or amazing that the only way it could be possible is if they are Jesus himself.

Dude that guy over there has picked up every girl all night..........without even talking to them!!!!!!??!!!!

-Jesus himself-

My friend robbed the biggest bank in the world using only a ballpoint pen!!!!

-Jesus himself-

Jesus himself by Zygorff October 20, 2009