ass patrol

when the local police squad spends more time looking for women than actual criminals.

Chelsea: "I can't believe it, I got pulled over the other day outside of the Kirk Hotel"
Pete Dick: "Woa, what did you do?"
Chelsea: "I was driving 55 in a 30 with no license plates, oh and I was driving down the wrong side of the street with no lights on and it was night time, think I blew past a couple stop signs and had "Fuck the Police" on the radio."
Pete Dick: "You must have gotten at least five tickets."
Chelsea: "Not a single one, I am so lucky!"
Pete Dick: "Lucky??? That cop was obviously just on ass patrol."
Chelsea: "You think?"
Pete Dick: "Yes, he was jacking for beats"
Chelsea: "Wow"

by Pete Dick March 15, 2008

ass mongrel

anal bitch, generally. some one who pays too much attention to things that don't posess any qualities worth paying attention to. consequently, an ass mongrel's presence is less than appreciated, due to being such a tool.

Dude, I was working with Dave the other day, and he fucking narc'd me out for not wearing my name tag to LuAnn. (mumble mumble dumb bitch)

Man, he's such an Ass Mongrel.

by neoprisonr March 22, 2004

ass-wipe seller

An ebay seller who sends wrong mechandise that is only good for wipping your ass with and acts like an ass-wipe when you want him to set things right. An ebay ripp off artist.

The listing said it was ddr1 Mr Whipple sent ddr2,I can't use it and he won't exchange it. When I asked for a refund because it was his mistake, he turned into a real ass-wipe seller. The conceret T shirt was supposed to be in mint condition, the only thing that rag is good for is wipping your ass , and the ass-wipe seller said all sales are final.

by benthere March 8, 2008

ass guy

A person, usually male, but not always, who prefers a woman’s ass to her breasts.

Ass guy: Damn, that’s a nice ass. I’m a total ass guy.
Boob guy: That’s not my forte, I’m more of a boob guy.

by voidedGround December 22, 2017

ass clapper

one really loud and long fart, ie. a fart that sounds like a Harley Davidson at idle.

WOW, did you hear Holly's fart...it was a real ass clapper.

by Russell Pridgen December 23, 2007

ass blaster

A HUGE fart that is so powerful, it hurts as soon as it leaves the cheeks. It also smells worse then regular farts because these ones usually leave squirts in the back of undies or boxers

John just let an ass blaster that cleared the whole room

by red April 16, 2005

ass-butler

A man who is consistently emasculated by his girlfriend or wife.

"Bob agreed to give up drinking on Friday so he can eat dinner at his mother-in-laws. What an ass-butler."

by chauncey July 20, 2004