Not Today Satan

When a evil blood sucking succubus tries to ruin your friends or your life.

When your friend's ex ask you for his new number. Not today Satan

by GreatwhiteClark October 12, 2015

What's the wave today

What are the plans today

Yo Daquan what's the wave today

by Young boul March 12, 2017

today sponge

An awkward form of birth control that involves jamming a small, special sponge up your woman and leaving it there for several hours after sex.

What if you get knocked up?

It's okay, I'm wearing a Today sponge!

by DrZedex February 20, 2014

Cripple toed

Referring to one who is absolutely inebriated and incoherent

Man did you see Billy last night at the bar?? He was cripple toed!!!

by HAMMER 112 August 13, 2016

fo today

A term that literally just means for today.

Guy 1: Where we going fo today?
Guy 2: Why are you in my house?

by bruhmoment62 June 9, 2020

whats the weather like today

When you are a stupid pleb who uses the wrong application to check weather

You “ Hey Siri , whats the weather like today.”
Siri “ Look outside you fucking pleb”

by Urning April 20, 2018

I'll gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today

From Popeye cartoons. Line often uttered by Popeye's portly friend Wimpy. Of course, "Tuesday" would never come, and so Wimpy constantly secured himself a free lunch. Thus the line is used to jokingly indicate that one would like to "borrow" something without any real intention of ever paying you back.

At the movies:

Bob: Aw man, I forgot my wallet! Hey Joe, I'll gladly pay you Tuesday for a movie ticket today...?

Joe: Yeah whatever...I'll buy your sorry ass another movie ticket just shut up.

by beavinator May 17, 2004