Samson

Biblical series! It's the thing! It's time for the thing! The thing I was doing from before. The Biblical series.

God "Heyheyhey, check it it out. Check out that guy over there."

Lucifer 😑 "Another boat guy? What is wrong with-"

Philistine "AAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!" *THUD*

Lucifer "HOLY SHIT!"

God "Yeah! Right!?"

Lucifer "He threw that guy, like, 40 feet in the air! I mean... I could throw a guy higher than that but they don't do that! What the hell did you do!?"

God "I made a deal."

Lucifer "A deal? A deal for what?"

God "Well.. I give him super strength... And HE... Grows his hair out."

Lucifer 😟 "What could you possibly have to gain from him growing out his fucking- Jesus, he is mangling those fucking guys..."

God "No, Jesus was the me-guy this is Samson- Wait... Is that... Yet? Where ARE we, like, chronologically speaking?" 🤔

Lucifer "What IS that in his hand!?"

God "Donkey jaw."

Lucifer "The JAW of a donkey?"

God "Yup."

Lucifer 😨 "Did he mutilate a donkey just to do that!? Who is that for!?"

God 🤷 ♂️ "I donno. It's a good weapon I guess."

Lucifer "IT ISN'T THAT, THOUGH! IT ISN'T! It can't possibly BE that! AT ALL!"

God "I mean, he's killed like 784 guys with it already so... Ya know... It's hard to say isn't a good weapon..."

Lucifer 😑 "Say that you genuinely believe a donkey jaw is a good weapon. Say it out loud."

God "Well... Yeah... The super strength is probably doing a lot of the legwork... But he's having fun. And that's what counts."

Lucifer "Pffft! Hahahahaha! That is stupid. This is fucking stupid. I'm done. This is dumb."

God "What? Where are you... *sigh* Well I think it's cool... Kachow! Kachow! Jaw-stab! Kachow! Super jaw-stab! Heheheheheh..."

by Hym Iam January 7, 2024

salmoned

To be tired of an item, especially food items.

I'm salmoned on strawberry yogurt. Give me some other flavor, please.

by TyrannicalTea April 26, 2024

Salmon slappa

Two lesbian having sex on decking fresh out of water ( preferably salt water) sissoring and slapping their salons together therefore making them salmon slappers this can also be used for for single lesbians since they want to be a salmon slapper xoxo

Have you heard V and M have been slapping their salmons together they are salmon slappas

by We Hye salmon slappas May 3, 2024

Salmon Jack

A person, preferably tired and worn out by the bullshit in their life, that swims upstream as a result, like a salmon.

David really isn't getting a blumpkin with the rest of us? What a Salmon Jack!

by michael burgers May 14, 2024

Salmon Premium

When you knock over a drink or object

"Watch that glass.......smash!!!

Then sing "Duddle da dum...Duddle da dum...its the Salmon Premium" to the tune of the Addams family

by anonymous May 22, 2024

salmon idaho

Salmon Idaho, A beautiful little town in the middle of b.f.e. idaho with grocery store that charges considerably more than they need to, you can shop anywhere you want as long as it's in the window of Monday- Friday 10 am- 7pm if you are lucky. They have a barbershop with a totally hot barber she is super nice also. Salmon also has plenty of drugs if you are interested it's not hard to find whatever you are looking for.... sometimes easier than buying groceries.

I will drive hours from anywhere in idaho to get to salmon Idaho, and turn around and drive hours back to civilization.

by Rasy31 June 3, 2024

Samson

Samson is a good friend, partner, and son. he’s also a fun person to be around! Samson is also a very honest guy and he’s the most handsomest guy in the world. if you ever see a Samson grab him before someone else does!

i wanna work with NONCHALANT Samson !!!

by 𝓻𝓸𝓫𝓵𝓸𝔁𝓼𝓮𝔁𝓰𝓸𝓭 June 10, 2024