Fictional Sex 

Like fractional sex, fictional sex is sex you make up to boost your stats (the notches on your belt in other words). Or, it can also be sex you deny ever having, out of fear of having too high of a bed count, or out of embarrassment that the person you had it with was sketchy. Basically, if you lie about whether or not you got laid, it's fictional sex.

Bob: Dude, I nailed Cassandra last night! I'm up to 22 notches on my belt already. How many you got?
Dan: Twenty-two? Yeah right! How many of those 22 are fictional sex? Probably more than half. I'd be surprised if you even nailed ten chicks.

Andrea: I heard you left the party with Bob last night. Does that mean you're up to nine different guys now?
Casandra: Shut up! Nothing happened. We just kissed a bit and I made him take me home. And I'm not up to eight yet either! I've only done like three guys. Honest.
Andrea: Yeah... sure... three guys this month. Sounds like fictional sex to me.

Fictional Sex by Pleasure Boy 1, erotic fiction author April 6, 2008

functional 

adj. Physical and mental state during or after a period of heavy drinking when one is able to, just barely, function on a minimalist level.

...........................

Huge party last night girl! I did not think you would be in to work today. Say, why is your underwear overtop of your coat? And are those cereal boxes on your feet? You sure you are functional?

functional by gnostic3 January 1, 2018

functionally retarded 

Mental deficiency characterized by stumbling speech, disconnection with reality, and unrestrained ego, yet behavior which is accepted by at most 50% of the population.

George W. Bush is functionally retarded.

functionally retarded by John Manyjars June 20, 2008

fictional virus 

A virus that does not actually exist, but is a possible mutation of an existing virus, or an entirely made up virus that can possibly exist without defying medical knowledge. Examples of fictional virus include Lyssavirus X and Filonecrosis. The movie entitled "Outbreak" was a good example of a fictional virus.

Despite the fact that they don't exist, it's important to be prepared for fictional viruses, since viruses are known to mutate to more potent forms all the time.

fictional virus by Edward Stevens August 26, 2006

functionality 

Officially the douchebaggiest word possible for feature, capability, change, etc.

Used constantly in software development.

Person 1: We think the new functionality will really improve the user experience.
Person 2: *Bitch Slap* You mean you think they'll like the new changes?

functionality by Lil John Off Da hook August 22, 2008

fucktion 

the heat generated by having sex

Gosh, it was cold in here a few minutes ago, but it's warm now--must be the fucktion

fucktion by Mike Reilly October 17, 2003

functionally American 

A Canadian (or other non-American I suppose) who gets most of their culture from American television, music and other media.

"Do you wear that U of Michigan jersey because you went to school there or are you just functionally American?"

functionally American by Andrew July 2, 2004