WANKER

1) Someone who loves themselves so much that masturbation isn't enough self-love for them, so they publicise their imaginary greatness by appearing on reality TV shows, or failing that, add entries to definition websites describing people with their name as somehow better than everyone else. See also: narcissist.

2) Basically the same as 1) above but a narcissist who, having had their pride bruised by someone, decides it is a mature and reasonable course of action to define aforementioned person on a definition website with details of said infidelity plus various fabrications about their sexual and/or culinary desires. Someone who publicly blames their own inadequacies on someone else.
I was on Urban Dictionary last night voting on the latest definitions, and I couldn't believe how many wankers there were trying to big themselves up or put someone down.
by Mr. Cardboard October 31, 2011
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WANKER

A PERSON WHO KNOWS YOU HAVING A SHITTY DAY DELIBERITLY TRIES TO RUIN IT
ME:I am having the worst day.

Person:Who gives a shit.

Me:You fucking wanker
by stonks meme money nd more chic October 14, 2020
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WANKER

'one who masturbates their pork sword more than an ordinary person', 'a person who comes across as stuck up or smug'
EXAMPLE 1
Mum: 'Johnny you really should stop tossing off that tiny tree stump of a penis you have'
Johnny: (while wanking) 'what can I say Mum im just a wanker'
Mum: Indeed you are Johnny look at you go infact I might join you for a wank later then we can be wankers together. Goodbye wanker Johnny!

Example 2:
Yoda: Luke use the force
Luke: fuck off u midget green wanker
by Dan Roach September 18, 2007
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WANKER

why you damn wanker i'll beat your arse!
by BEAVIS August 04, 2004
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wanker

by crazy_guy February 14, 2012
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wanker

UK/Aus/NZ slang for:

1. Someone excessively and annoyingly pretentious and/or false, with a strong likelihood of working in the creative industries, especially "new media". Very high populations of wankers are to be found in certain areas of London including Shoreditch and Hoxton; see also Shoreditch twat.

2. Someone with a faintly sociopathic lack of regard for other people; see also arsehole.

3. Someone useless, inefficient or time-wasting, especially in a place or work and/or position of responsibility.

4. A general term of abuse.

5. Someone who masturbates.
1. He spent twenty minutes telling me about the studio's new pathways they're developing in innovative synergistic blue-sky-media treatment concepts. In a fake Cockney-geezer accent. What a fucking wanker.

2. That cunt in the sports car just totally cut me up. What a fucking wanker.

3. He's being paid £25/hour and he just sits there playing Freecell whilst the rest of us do all his work for him, because he's the boss's mate. What a fucking wanker.

4. You're a fucking wanker.

5. You're a fucking wanker.
by snootful October 07, 2012
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wankered

to be so completely inebriated so as to lose all cognitive function
This guy was so wankered in the pub, that he pissed himself
by da22er April 21, 2009
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