16 definitions by Colonel Barnaby

This is a reference - used by mothers- to refer to the common periwinkle (a type of shellfish, resembling a small snail, and commonly found on shores in the northern hemisphere) and how much the contents of the shell resemble a little boys penis.
‘Kevin, don’t forget to give your winkle a good shake after you’ve had a wee-wee!’
by Colonel Barnaby January 19, 2023
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This is a term of derision, commonly used by people of the lower-classes. It refers to the act of self-abuse, or self-stimulation of the sexual organs, by both male and female sexes. It was particularly frowned upon during the Victorian era, when it was thought that the act of self-abuse could lead to blindness or even the madhouse. The person manipulating his or her loins in order to achieve sexual solace would therefore be the ‘wanker’. However, today it is more often used to signify a person is dim-witted or has an unsavoury character.
“That copper was a right wanker! He stopped me for speeding’ in me car and now I’m gettin’ a fine an’ points on me licence!”
by Colonel Barnaby February 10, 2023
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This term is defined as the act of manual stimulation to the loins of a willing male - either by another male or a female. The loins of the male are stroked in a rhythmical fashion ; often from behind so as to resemble the milking of a bovine by a milking maiden. This results in a very pleasurable seminal emission by the male, usually captured in a tissue or some other receptacle.
‘Harold loves it when Maude has a go at cock milking. It gives him instant relief and means she can’t get pregnant!’
by Colonel Barnaby January 22, 2023
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Minge is a colloquial English term referring to a female’s pubic hair. Monger refers to any trading enterprise. A minge-monger is therefore a term of abuse used to describe a person who it is claimed sells the pubic hair of a ladies.
That disgusting bloke is an absolute mingemonger!
by Colonel Barnaby November 28, 2022
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A pseudo-comical term used to describe an effeminate man. It was in common use prior to the decimalisation of the currency in 1971, when a ‘bob’ meant one shilling. It refers to the ten shilling note (10/-); and alludes to a male who seeks sexual comfort from other males with a fraudulent currency note or forgery.
Aubrey likes to collect recipes and is always gossiping with girls. I’m sure he’s a nine bob note!’
by Colonel Barnaby January 19, 2023
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A term used by inverted men - both young and old- who like to frequent public lavatories (which they call ‘cottages’) in order to experience sexual solace.
‘Keep away from those toilets, Fred, it’s full of nine-bob-notes going cottaging!’
by Colonel Barnaby January 19, 2023
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A term very commonly used in the 1940s and 50s by juveniles to describe a French letter or condom. It has been claimed that the term derives from the time when millions of ‘GI-Joes’ (American soldiers) were issued with French letters as part of their equipment. As a result, Europe was flooded with Joe-bags.
‘I bought a packet of Joe-bags from the barbers this morning. I need them because I’m going to shag Doris tonight!’
by Colonel Barnaby January 18, 2023
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