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Preposterous boast, but alas 

Replacement for “weird flex but ok” because it’s overused
Random person: “I didn’t lose my virginity because I don’t take L’s.”
Me: “Preposterous boast, but alas.”
Related Words

boastagram 

those offensive,gag inducing and "unreadable" seasonal letters sent out to tell the world how great you and your family are doing
Unfortunately, every Christmas my uncle sends us a boastagram with the latest on his kid's successes
boastagram by sheila in the car October 31, 2008
When lying on your back having such a massive erection it’s comparable to the beanstalk from the fairytale Jack & the beanstalk
Whilst watching Matty’s mom exercise, Ad became turned on and his Bonestalk appeared embarrassingly whilst he was bench-pressing at the local gym
Bonestalk by TechNoNotice January 17, 2022

Boisterous bellend 

This type of person is an absolute twat who never fails to annoy you. They are loud and not well educated and often blurt out inappropriate comments resembling an arsehole, or in this case, a total bellend.
That new lad at work is a boisterous bellend and really pisses me off

Befouled Bonathan

The act of kidnapping and typing up your college roommate in your dorm and pretending they did not return for this semester. Then the captor will torture their roommate through repeatedly zoning out in front of them, going out for late night walks, eating large meals while the prisoner starves, and the occasional blowjob.
Aidan: “Nah, Bonathan isn’t coming back this semester?”
(Later)
Kirk: “Guys I think Aidan’s pulling a Befouled Bonathan again.”