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SYNONYMS: chokin' the chicken, spanking the monkey, flogging the dolphin, beating off, jackin' off, buffing the banana, wanking off, playing with yourself, tootin' your horn, fighting the purple helmet warrior, rubbing the one-eyed snake, commiting spermi 

Some neurosurgeon posted a definition for masturbate with a bunch of synonyms and decided it would be a good idea to make them all one big link, which is how you got here to this page. Here's to that genius.
I hope that person catches AIDS from masturbating.



SYNONYMS: chokin' the chicken, spanking the monkey, flogging the dolphin, beating off, jackin' off, buffing the banana, wanking off, playing with yourself, tootin' your horn, fighting the purple helmet warrior, rubbing the one-eyed snake, commiting spermicide, taking your turn at the self-serve station, fishing with your zipper trout, beating the shit out of your midget friend, makin' mayo, polishing the family jewels, test-firing the old meat missle, wrapping the hand around the penis and moving it in a thrusting movement.
Cigarette: Northern slang for a cigarette, used oft by mashed up mancunian ravers becasue of the resemblance of a hot(electric)stove to the end of a lit cigarette. Originated circa 1991 in the early halcyon days of the rave culture; we speculate during a drug fuelled hallucination by said manc.
'fuck me noel, i am bolloxed, is that a ciggy in your mouth, or the stove from me 'nans kitchen'/
General use: 'Give us a stove you cunt'
stove by anthony willison March 18, 2004
Word of the Day on August 4, 2026

Walky-Talky 

A derogatory term for able bodied people or people that can walk. This definition was coined by disabled influencer Valerie Weber
Person in wheelchair: “look at that walky-talky over there.”

Friend in wheelchair: *looking at person who is walking* “yeah haha
Walky-Talky by odd muffin October 5, 2021
Word of the Day on August 3, 2026

Scrapnel 

(N) :
All pieces left over after an art project or home improvement.
"After we made the decorations for the party, there was 'scrapnel' all over the floor"
Scrapnel by IceSniper February 22, 2025
Word of the Day on August 2, 2026
A hardo is a person who tries extremely hard at everything. Most times a hardo will try very hard at things that do not require excessive effort. For example, sports practices, gym class, etc.
Wow did you see Jack at practice today? What a hardo!
Hardo by Thuhkilluh September 4, 2014
Word of the Day on August 1, 2026
a sign of love or flirtatious language between two emo people.
do you want to go listen to peirce the veil later? rawr xD

okeeez rawr xD
rawr xD by okeeeeeeeeez July 4, 2016
Word of the Day on July 31, 2026