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SYNONYMS: chokin' the chicken, spanking the monkey, flogging the dolphin, beating off, jackin' off, buffing the banana, wanking off, playing with yourself, tootin' your horn, fighting the purple helmet warrior, rubbing the one-eyed snake, commiting spermi 

Some neurosurgeon posted a definition for masturbate with a bunch of synonyms and decided it would be a good idea to make them all one big link, which is how you got here to this page. Here's to that genius.
I hope that person catches AIDS from masturbating.



SYNONYMS: chokin' the chicken, spanking the monkey, flogging the dolphin, beating off, jackin' off, buffing the banana, wanking off, playing with yourself, tootin' your horn, fighting the purple helmet warrior, rubbing the one-eyed snake, commiting spermicide, taking your turn at the self-serve station, fishing with your zipper trout, beating the shit out of your midget friend, makin' mayo, polishing the family jewels, test-firing the old meat missle, wrapping the hand around the penis and moving it in a thrusting movement.

Serial Monogamist 

Someone who jumps from one relationship immediately into another one.

Serial monogamists can not stand to be alone and often suffer from vast commitment and insecurity issues.

Because they jump into relationships immediately after the previous one has ended, serial monogamists typically don't take the time to reflect on their behavior or why their previous relationships failed; thus, they end up making the same relationship mistakes over and over again.
Person 1: Damn, Dustin already has a new girlfriend?! It's only been two weeks since he broke up with his fiance! I think he's a sociopath.

Person 2: No, he's a serial monogamist...
Word of the Day on June 22, 2026

liquid lunch 

A lunchbreak comprised entirely of alcoholic beverages, and no food.
"With all the lay-offs that morning, it was rough. I hit the bar around the corner for a liquid lunch mid-day."
liquid lunch by Alexandra July 27, 2004
Word of the Day on June 21, 2026
Dunzo, a slang word for done/finshed. Made famous by the Laguna Beach cast.
This car is so dunzo. (Kristin's car breaks down.)
dunzo by Joey Pellet December 8, 2004
Word of the Day on June 20, 2026

ankle biter

Someone or something that bites your ankles.
To a postman, an ankle biter is often known as a dog.
To an adult, an ankle biter may be a toddler.
To hikers, an ankle biter is sometimes a tick.
And so on.
"Dang ankle biter took off my whole leg!!"
ankle biter by the sane maniac February 2, 2004
Word of the Day on June 19, 2026

Male Pattern Blindness 

When a man will search for hours to find something that is laying out in the open on a table. Items are often easily found by a women.
Man: "I have been searching for hours for keys."
Woman: "You mean the ones sitting there on the coffee table?"
Man: "Where?"
Woman: "Right there in the middle of that table."
Man: "oh, must have been Male Pattern Blindness"
Male Pattern Blindness by diablo581 February 10, 2008
Word of the Day on June 18, 2026