The Bacon Tuxedo is
like the joke The Aristocrats in that it is the grossest, nastiest sexual deviance imaginable at the
time it is dispelled. It is not so much one sexual position as it is many with some sort of a
wild story behind it and a bit of pizazz. It is up to the story teller just what positions and fluids are involved in the act so long as it is improvised and original. The teller begins by stating "I was giving this girl The Bacon Tuxedo the other night". This
will usually be followed by someone asking, "What is The Bacon Tuxedo?" Then you follow with your version and end with, "and that my friend is The Bacon Tuxedo."
I was with this
crazy slut the other night named Cindy. We went to her place and started going at it
pretty hard. She did not waste anytime before she was behind me giving me a Rusty Trombone. After a few minutes of that I threw Cindy to the floor as I was in the mood for a Cincinnati Bowtie, but not before I Tea Bagged her for a bit. Being in the position I was in I couldn't help but think it would be a good
time for a Cleveland Steamer so I let loose whilst giving her downstairs a bit of a Golden Shower. Then it was obviously
time for a Chili Dog. I gave the sweet girl a Dirty Sanchez soon after pulling my cock out of her shit covered breasts. This is when her roommate,
Stacy, comes out and says "Hey, what's all the commotion?" and begins laughing her ass off when she sees Cindy's upper lip.
Stacy then decides she's going to strap on a giant black dildo they have aptly named, Apollo Creed. I rub my hands together thinking Cindy is in for it, but before I know it I am taking it in the ass from Apollo and giving it to Cindy doggy style. I then decided it was
time for a Houdini. I spit on Cindy's back and to her surprise as she turned around I blew my spunk in her eye. I hadn't meant to cum in her eye, but I figured at this point I should just kick her in the shin completing an Angry Pirate". I later Donkey Punched
Stacy and got her to do the Angry
Dragon the next morning. And that my
friends is The Bacon Tuxedo.
