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Don't wipe your ass before you shit 

1.An expression you use to tell a person to stop bragging who claims victory before a brawl,race,match,competiion or any other event that has yet to happen.
A)
Kevin: let's see who has the speed to make it to the finish line quicker.

Eric: Man I got this,I'm gonna murk your ass!!

Kevin: Don't wipe your ass before you shit Eric ;it's not over till is over.

B)
Eric:10 bucks I get a better grade in my physics test?

BeHa: Man you always say that but you always fail,don't wipe your ass before shit!!!!

Jack: Yo Eric you ain't beating noone shut upp!!!

Mick: Yea don't wipe your ass before shit!!!
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Don't shit where you eat

This expression refers to doing anything that would jeopardize something important or essential to you. A common example of shitting where one eats is engaging in a romantic affair with a co-worker, but lying to your roommate or stealing from friends also fits this expression.
Local Bike Shop Mechanic #1: "Can you believe that guy? I've hooked him up dozens of times, but after the tantrum he just threw, I'll never take a dime off a part for him again."

LBS Mechanic #2: "Seriously. Hasn't he ever heard? Don't shit where you eat."

shit did you put the bong away? 

An exclamation of terror, often said while under the influence of cannabis. The bong in question is a smoking implement, and if it has not been concealed or "put away", a parent or figure of authority may find it. This is a highly detrimental situation for the users of the bong.
J. Shit did you put the bong away?
M. Nah man, didn't you?
J. No, i thought you were going to
M. ...fuck

drink till you shit club 

The consumption of alcohol until complete loss of bowel control occurs (thus shit in your pants)
Oh look the sergant shit his pants!! now he is in the drink till you shit club

you shit me

you must be joking, I cannot believe you, I think you are lying
you slept with that bitch last night? you shit me.
you shit me by Anonymous November 17, 2002

fuck you shots

This activity is best shared with good friends. You have had a long shitty day, everyone pissing you off. Choose your favorite alcohol, in place of a toast you say Fuck _________ (insert offending name). Before you know it, a perfect end to a shitty day. Repeat as needed until you are happy!
It's been a bad day, let's do some fuck you shots!

MOTHERFUCKING PIECE OF SHIT FUCK YOU YOU DEGENARATE ASSHOLE GO CHOKE ON A DILDO YOU PIECE OF FUCKING SHIT FUCK YOU ASSHOLE EAT SHIT AND DIE 

MOTHERFUCKING PIECE OF SHIT FUCK YOU YOU DEGENARATE ASSHOLE GO CHOKE ON A DILDO YOU PIECE OF FUCKING SHIT FUCK YOU ASSHOLE EAT SHIT AND DIE ASSHOLE