Fraud Guarantee 

A super stupid name for a technology firm that is supposedly set up to protect its customers from being defrauded but may be the direct connection with the savvy fraudsters themselves.

Let’s just say that when I found Fraud Guarantee I was entirely solvent but after doing business with Mr. Parnas for about a year, I was living in my car.

Fraud Guarantee by Dr Bunnygirl November 6, 2019

Korm Guarantee 

The firmest assurance that certain conditions will be fulfilled; a promise that should never be doubted.

Daniel gave a Korm Guarantee that they would win, so everyone placed their bets on Arsenal to win the league.

Korm Guarantee by FletchTheGreat July 1, 2016

I guarantee it 

George Zimmer's closing statement, especially after the successful use of his monolithic man meat.

Hi, I’m George Zimmer, founder and CEO of the men's wearhouse. While surreptitiously plunging my rosy-cheeked cyclopean ally into the anal cavity of a young migrant farm worker of indeterminate gender in the front row of a movie theater, the poor youth screamed for more than three minutes straight, finally coughing up a load of 100% pure Zimmer sauce and passing out. The other movie patrons, angry at the interruption of the adventures of sharkboy and lavagirl in 3-d, began pelting me with drinks, food, and phone numbers hastily written on napkins. Unfortunately, my outrageously dapper suit was ruined in the process. I nonchalantly pulled the unconscious youth off my enormous eyeball gouger and stripped nude. Then, with a bestial roar, I beat the entire audience to death--without leaving the front row. On my way out, in the custom of the Zimmer family, I gave them a burial at semen. I guarantee it.

I guarantee it by ms. anonymous September 10, 2008

George Foreman Guarantee 

It is the highest form(around 100%) of any guarantee followed by the Men's Warehouse Guarantee(around 75%) and then the Ed from Jersey Guarantee (around 25%). The George Foreman is not to be violated and the punishment for such violation will be harsh.

Rich Davis: Covino, bro I George Foreman guarantee that Spot will get some this weekend.

1 week later...

Covino: It is now time for Rich's slap in the face and pie disgrace for violating the George Foreman.

Rich: I should've gone with the Men's Warehouse.

George Foreman Guarantee by BeastlyDoughboy January 10, 2009

Yotam guarantee 

(noun): An unwavering assurance that if Yotam promises something, it will unquestionably be accomplished. Yotam's name has become synonymous with reliability and effectiveness, representing a steadfast commitment to delivering on their word.

Person 1: "I think this company is a scam"
Person 2: "No man, they have the Yotam guarantee"

Yotam guarantee by señor mo July 17, 2023

Grieser Guarantee 

The Grieser Guarantee is a phrase used when you are one hundred percent positive that you are correct. First used by Eric Grieser, this guarantee can't be false.

"I Grieser guarantee that North Carolina is going to win the 2005 NCAA Championship Tournament."

Grieser Guarantee by Eric Grieser April 12, 2005

Winger guarantee 

A Jeff Winger alternative to a very important promise.

Invented in the tv show Community by Jeff Winger.

Jeff Winger: Il get you 5 more customers by the end of this, and that’s a Winger Guarantee

Winger guarantee by FitnessGram™ Pacer Test December 22, 2021