That guy who makes us shake our head in disbelief but at the same time makes us feel better about ourselves since we are not him.
"Jake just spent $80 buying those hot chick shots and then they walked off with those other guys!" "He's such a tool!"
by toolguru October 23, 2007
A healthy alternative to Christmas or Chaunaka. Intstead of feeling an overwhelming compulsion to run up credit card debt by purchasing things for people that they will probably not need and regift to someone else next year, you get a microphone stand around which whores can dance. Everyone "airs their grievances" by writing a problem on a piece of paper and putting it into a box (without the person's name). Then people take turns reading them and the others offer solutions or crack on that person. After the anger and embarassment build (which is magnified by massive amounts of alcohol), it is time for "Feats of Strength". These can consist of anything from arm wrestling to tackle football in the backyard to chicken fighting. Unlike Christmas, people are actually real and end up feeling emotionally healed!
Sorry friends and family, I won't be making it to your Christmas parties this year. You should dump them to and come to my first annual "Festivus For the Rest of Us" jam.
by toolguru January 18, 2008
An individual who justifies his/her actions by quoting Bible passages. They often reject scientific evidence, pass judgement on others, and have a know-it-all attitude. Most have lost the ability to think critically.
As our Biology teacher showed us pictures of Lucy, a fairly well-preserved Australeopithicus fossil and tried to explain how she had characteristics of both extinct primates and some current primates such as apes, chimpanzees, and humans, some Bible thumper in the back of the room yelled out "We din't come from no monkeys!"
by toolguru October 25, 2007
In a group of girls, the one who feels responsible for her friends. She often will push away guys and or pull away her friends from guys physically. She is usually either fat, ugly, annoying or all of the above. (Can be used as a noun or a verb)
I spent like $100 on drinks from this hot chick in a Vegas club and as we were heading up to my room, I got mother-henned out of nowhere! The nerve of the fat bitch!
Allright, guys, we need one of you to occupy the mother hen for a bit while I lead this chick out the dance floor!
Allright, guys, we need one of you to occupy the mother hen for a bit while I lead this chick out the dance floor!
by toolguru September 26, 2008
A person who walks around with their blue tooth on and has extremely loud conversations in public, seemingly enjoying sharing their business with strangers.
"It was bad enough I had to wait in line for 20 minutes, let alone having to hear some blue tool behind me yapping away!"
by toolguru October 25, 2007
the male counterpart to the vagomach-- the flabby area beneath the belly button of a man's beer belly
by toolguru September 26, 2008
A tool used by the Republicans to try to win female votes that would have gone to Hillary. What the women who vote for her don't realize, though, is that she is the complete opposite of Hillary on the political spectrum. Sarah Palin wants to make even rape victims or women whose baby may kill them still have it. She also wants to ban the sale of condoms and preach abstinence in schools instead of safe sex. BRILLIANT!
I don't agree with any of her policies, but I may vote for Sarah Palin because she looks decent for politician. Around February or March, I will regret it though when I realize what she has been doing to our country and my wallet!
by toolguru September 26, 2008