11 definitions by toolguru
A person who walks around with their blue tooth on and has extremely loud conversations in public, seemingly enjoying sharing their business with strangers.
"It was bad enough I had to wait in line for 20 minutes, let alone having to hear some blue tool behind me yapping away!"
by toolguru October 25, 2007
A fossil who is the best thing the Republicans could come up with this year. May have a chance of winning because many American think he will keep us safe, think his vice is hot, and fear that Obama is a closet muslim. As you can see, many Americans are clueless! Put your pride aside and vote for who will make you life better-- Obama!
I ain't voting for that slick-talking Muslim just cause he gonna get us out of Iraq, improve our economy and schools and make almost everybodys lives easier! I'm gonna vote for the old man mccain because he is a former POW and I don't care that he wants us to stay in Iraq for another 100 years and build more air-conditioned ferris wheels there!
by toolguru September 26, 2008
A bragging statement after you do something spectacular which is meant to be answered with dumbfounded silence.
Bruce and his beerpong partner Sally were losing 9 cups to 0. Suddenly, they proceeded to hit 10 cups in a row to steal the victory and Bruce exclaimed, "Where's your mouth?" Their opponents shook their heads and Bruce and Sally embraced.
by toolguru October 23, 2007
A spanish slang word that translates to a softer version of "Fuck!" The word "madre" translates to "mother", but "madres" can be used to express exclamation in a less offensive way than the English version of "Fuck!"
by toolguru November 16, 2007
That guy who makes us shake our head in disbelief but at the same time makes us feel better about ourselves since we are not him.
"Jake just spent $80 buying those hot chick shots and then they walked off with those other guys!" "He's such a tool!"
by toolguru October 23, 2007
An individual who justifies his/her actions by quoting Bible passages. They often reject scientific evidence, pass judgement on others, and have a know-it-all attitude. Most have lost the ability to think critically.
As our Biology teacher showed us pictures of Lucy, a fairly well-preserved Australeopithicus fossil and tried to explain how she had characteristics of both extinct primates and some current primates such as apes, chimpanzees, and humans, some Bible thumper in the back of the room yelled out "We din't come from no monkeys!"
by toolguru October 25, 2007
A healthy alternative to Christmas or Chaunaka. Intstead of feeling an overwhelming compulsion to run up credit card debt by purchasing things for people that they will probably not need and regift to someone else next year, you get a microphone stand around which whores can dance. Everyone "airs their grievances" by writing a problem on a piece of paper and putting it into a box (without the person's name). Then people take turns reading them and the others offer solutions or crack on that person. After the anger and embarassment build (which is magnified by massive amounts of alcohol), it is time for "Feats of Strength". These can consist of anything from arm wrestling to tackle football in the backyard to chicken fighting. Unlike Christmas, people are actually real and end up feeling emotionally healed!
Sorry friends and family, I won't be making it to your Christmas parties this year. You should dump them to and come to my first annual "Festivus For the Rest of Us" jam.
by toolguru January 18, 2008