theinstigator's definitions

Ghost of Houdini

When a man is lying in bed on his back and he gets a hard-on, it rises beneath the sheets appearing as a ghostly figure in the morning light. True to the spirit of Houdini, the ghostly erection is likely to disappear soon after it arrives, possibly into the woman beside him.

Jane: Baby, look at the sheet near your crotch!
Kevin: Shh, baby. It's the ghost of Houdini.
Jane: Really? Is he friendly?
Kevin: Oh yeah. I think he wants a kiss.
Jane: Okay.

by theinstigator September 22, 2016

Weiner Worthy

Being desirable enough to stick one's penis in. A woman worth wetting one's willie in. A gal who a guy would want to fuck.

Nicole worried that by the time she was in her late 40's that she would no longer be weiner worthy.

by theinstigator October 1, 2016

Cataract Removal

An act performed after thoroughly coating a girl’s eyeballs with your jizz, giving them a glistening iridescent coating, temporarily blinding her. To relieve her clouded vision, you convince her to be very still and keep her stinging peepers wide open. Then you make two fists and slug her very hard simultaneously in the eyes, knocking your milky man-juice from her beautiful baby blues. Thus, you have performed cataract removal.

Veronica: Betty, how did you get two black eyes?
Betty: I underwent cataract removal.

by theinstigator June 4, 2016

Take her to Poletown

Take her to Poletown is a way for a guy to tell someone that they are going to have sex with a certain woman. It may be mistaken by the more naïve person (even the woman herself) as a reference to the Polish district of a large city but that is just a guy's way of letting another know (wink, wink) that sometime in the near future his dick's going to be wearing her Va-jay-jay sweater.

Cal: Hey, Frankie. I got a date this Friday with Paulette.

Frankie: Damn! She is so freakin’ hot!

Cal: Yeah. Guaranteed, man, Within two weeks I’m going to take her to Poletown!

by theinstigator October 18, 2016

Hungry Kitty

1)The primal urge a woman gets deep within her clitoral vortex of sensory nerves that make her feel so carnally depraved that she seeks fulfillment in shady bars and clubs, having sex with any and every guy willing to wet their willie in the lustful lass. Her hunger goes unsatisfied as no one penis can fulfill her cockticious craving. Eventually, she may even summon up enough men to be the focal point of an all-night gangbang. Hungry Kitty isn’t satisfied until she’s been pumped full of so much man milk it leaks out and pools on the bed, gently grazing the satisfied lips of the appeased pussy.

2) When yo’ bitch want some dick.

“A Hungry Kitty will make any man seem purr-fect.” – Benjamin Franklin

by theinstigator June 3, 2016

orgasmic event

When someone has an orgasm so intense it is a life-changer. In a 1999 field study of 125 people who had experienced a climax of this magnitude, 15 died of heart attacks during the orgasm, 32 swore a lifetime of devotion to their lover, 43 swore a lifetime of devotion to their hand, 23 committed suicide convinced they had experienced the ultimate thrill life could give them, 11 began touring as motivational speakers, and one decided he was going to watch the Britney Spears video "Baby, One More Time" one more time to see if he could replicate his orgasmic event. Less than a minute into the video he had a seizure and died en route to the hospital.

(from "My Date With Giganti Tongue") ...her heart skipped, she held her breathe, THERE, oh my. She felt her soul fluttering from her body in ecstasy. Her limbs shuddered and she rode the orgasm like James Bond rode the tidal wave caused by the collapsed iceberg in the one where Halle Berry wore a bikini but was trapped in that igloo by the mad Korean. Hummingbirds peppered her heart with kisses and she felt higher than Cheech and Chong at a Grateful Dead concert in a jet flying over Mount Everest. And then, as the orgasmic event slowly subsided, there was that ultimate moment of clarity when suddenly she felt she could prove Einstein's Theory of Relativity was a load of horseshit.

by theinstigator January 13, 2014

titiot savant

a person of below average intelligence who possesses a sixth sense about women's breasts, often knowing specific personal details about them with a single glance at a fully clothed woman. In a 1987 Michigan State University study, one tidiot savant with an IQ of 83 was tested by looking at pictures of just the faces of the 50 Miss America contestants. He was able to give the exact breast size of 96% of the women, incorrectly guessing only Miss Alaska and Miss Hawaii, but was correct on all 48 contiguous states.

Jim: Why did you bring Nate along with us to the bar? He's such a doof.
Dave: Hey, man. Be cool. You'll see.
Nate: Ooohh. Ooohh.
Dave: What is it, little buddy?
Nate: At the door, brunette, natural 36C's, left one slightly larger than the right, not much, top hat nipples, medium areolas- again, left slightly larger, but just a tad.
Jim: She's smokin'!
--the next day--
Jim: Hey, Dave. That dumbass Nate was dead on about that chick's boobs. I had sex with her last night.
Dave: Damn right, he was dead on. That's because he's a titiot savant.

by theinstigator December 15, 2013