Skip to main content

theinstigator's definitions

Va-jay-jay Sweater

A hairy pussy, usually one that is thick and matted over like those heavy holiday sweaters with tangled pubes like they’ve been woven by Amish elves. Yeah, imagine trying to fuck that!
Dolph: Damn, bro. I just had my hand down Frita's pants!

Gregor: Score, dude!

Dolph: Not so fast, Holmes. I couldn't even get my fingers in her pussy.

Gregor: Seriously? Was she fightin' it?

Dolph: Naw, man. Her hair down there was impenetrable.

Gregor: Whoa.

Dolph: Yeah, bud. It was like she had a va-jay-jay sweater
by theinstigator October 18, 2016
mugGet the Va-jay-jay Sweatermug.

the Hindenburg

When one has had so much sex that their cock is rubbed raw but they have sex again anyway and it burns like a motherfucker and just as they reach a climax and cum they yell, “Oh the humanity!”
“Sorry, Betty. We need to slow down. That last fuck was the Hindenburg for me. My dick is a disaster.”
by theinstigator June 3, 2016
mugGet the the Hindenburgmug.

Car Pool Tunnel Syndrome

When three or more people are riding in a car and they drive through a tunnel, all the windows are rolled down and everyone screams out the windows all the way through the tunnel. Their shrieking reverberates off the walls of the tunnel causing quite a ruckus.
Bum #1: Listen to those damn fools yelling out their windows!
Bum#2: They can't help it, Earl. I think they got that disease.
Bum #1: What disease, Fred?
Bum #2: That there Car Pool Tunnel Syndrome.
Bum #1: You're a fucking idiot, Fred.
by theinstigator September 22, 2016
mugGet the Car Pool Tunnel Syndromemug.

cunnilinquint

one who reneges (backs out) on a promise he will go down on a woman (perform
cunnilingus, eat pussy.) This type of person is highly scorned by females.
Helen: So how was the date with Ted?
Janice: Could have went better. He told me he'd go down on me if I gave him a
blowjob first. But as soon as I did, he- all of a sudden- had to leave.
Helen: You need to drop his ass. He's a cunnilinquint!
by theinstigator January 16, 2014
mugGet the cunnilinquintmug.

Hot dog with mustard, hold the ketchup

When a guy is receiving a blowjob from his girl and as she attempts to deep throat him she suddenly sneezes so violently she ejects from her nose a yellowish snot trail all over his majestic manhood plus she accidentally bites his magnificent va-jay-jay impaler but it doesn’t quite draw blood.
Thanks to her allergies and missing teeth, Belinda created a hot dog with mustard, hold the ketchup situation last night on her date with Homer.
by theinstigator June 3, 2016
mugGet the Hot dog with mustard, hold the ketchupmug.

spinal adjustment

when a man spreads a woman's legs, pins them back and fucks her so hard her back cracks. This custom became so popular in the early 1980's that some enthusiasts would have spinal adjustment parties and couples would simultaneously engage in this form of boning. The combined sound of all the cracking spines gave the aural illusion of crickets chirping. The practice didn't quite reach "fad" status, though, as it really didn't sound that close to crickets chirping and it was only interesting to the bystander for a few quick moments. Eventually, the party idea died out and currently spinal adjustments are practiced in the privacy of one's home. This has been known to save dozens of dollars in chiropractor bills, cutting health costs by 0.00001%, though statistics have only been kept since Valentines Day, 2012.
Harold: Hey, Fred, what's with Steph?

Fred: Fucked her so hard last night, I gave her a spinal adjustment.
Harold: Oh, okay. That's awesome. The way she was walking, I thought she had some kind of pussy rash.
Fred: No, it was great. Had her up to five pops. Got four more on the last thrust. Adjusted!!! (high fives)
by theinstigator December 13, 2013
mugGet the spinal adjustmentmug.

Brown-eyed Snake Charmer

When a shit coming out of one's ass is so long that it has amassed at the bottom of the toilet bowl and grown to the surface like a volcanic island emerging from the Pacific Ocean. The shit keeps coming in one long continuous poop like when a soft serve ice cream machine has a faulty handle. Eventually, to prevent the growing glop of excrement from pressing the buttocks from below, the person has to lift their ass off the toilet seat and rotate and hover their butt cheeks over this watery porcelain pit to let the brownie rope coil onto the steaming lump with as low a profile as possible. Though the shit is obviously dropping downward, the turd snake appears to be rising slowly from the toilet bowl, mesmerized by the slowly swirling ass, and burying it's head into that hypnotic brown eye from which it came.
Ben: "Dudes, I just took a shit that was so long that the top of it comes 5 inches above the waterline. I even made it curly-Q'ed like an ice cream cone from Dairy Queen."
Charley: "Damn, man! Your ass is a brown-eyed snake charmer!"
by theinstigator September 16, 2016
mugGet the Brown-eyed Snake Charmermug.

Share this definition