Definitions by theinstigator
Va-jay-jay Sweater
A hairy pussy, usually one that is thick and matted over like those heavy holiday sweaters with tangled pubes like they’ve been woven by Amish elves. Yeah, imagine trying to fuck that!
Dolph: Damn, bro. I just had my hand down Frita's pants!
Gregor: Score, dude!
Dolph: Not so fast, Holmes. I couldn't even get my fingers in her pussy.
Gregor: Seriously? Was she fightin' it?
Dolph: Naw, man. Her hair down there was impenetrable.
Gregor: Whoa.
Dolph: Yeah, bud. It was like she had a va-jay-jay sweater
Gregor: Score, dude!
Dolph: Not so fast, Holmes. I couldn't even get my fingers in her pussy.
Gregor: Seriously? Was she fightin' it?
Dolph: Naw, man. Her hair down there was impenetrable.
Gregor: Whoa.
Dolph: Yeah, bud. It was like she had a va-jay-jay sweater
Va-jay-jay Sweater by theinstigator October 18, 2016
Take her to Poletown
Take her to Poletown is a way for a guy to tell someone that they are going to have sex with a certain woman. It may be mistaken by the more naïve person (even the woman herself) as a reference to the Polish district of a large city but that is just a guy's way of letting another know (wink, wink) that sometime in the near future his dick's going to be wearing her Va-jay-jay sweater.
Cal: Hey, Frankie. I got a date this Friday with Paulette.
Frankie: Damn! She is so freakin’ hot!
Cal: Yeah. Guaranteed, man, Within two weeks I’m going to take her to Poletown!
Frankie: Damn! She is so freakin’ hot!
Cal: Yeah. Guaranteed, man, Within two weeks I’m going to take her to Poletown!
Take her to Poletown by theinstigator October 18, 2016
Human Puppet Show
Having one’s right hand in one person’s ass and the left hand in another person’s ass and hitting the right nerves to force them into a humorous conversation preferably to entertain others. A young Marquis de Sade used to practice this at dinner parties in Paris much to the delight of his sexually deviant party guests. It is speculated that this is where the term “talking out of one’s ass” was derived from.
A large balding man is slouched over with his pants down to his knees and next to him is a young maiden of twenty-one years of age who is on her hands and knees with the bottom of her dress pulled up to her waist. The one and only Marquis de Sade is positioned behind the two, a hand buried in each ass.
Jacques, the butler: Ladies and gentlemen, the Human Puppet Show!
(Thunderous applause)
Maiden: Ohh, ahhhhh, Knock, Knock!
Balding man: Hmmph! Uhhn. Who…the …Fuuuck…ahhh…is there!?
Maiden: Eeeh! Ohh! ANITA!!!
Balding man: Ohhyeeooww! Anita fucking who!!??
Maiden: Uhhhmp…Ohhh! Anita fucking dick in me!
Laughter abounds from the crowd!
Jacques, the butler: Ladies and gentlemen, the Human Puppet Show!
(Thunderous applause)
Maiden: Ohh, ahhhhh, Knock, Knock!
Balding man: Hmmph! Uhhn. Who…the …Fuuuck…ahhh…is there!?
Maiden: Eeeh! Ohh! ANITA!!!
Balding man: Ohhyeeooww! Anita fucking who!!??
Maiden: Uhhhmp…Ohhh! Anita fucking dick in me!
Laughter abounds from the crowd!
Human Puppet Show by theinstigator October 18, 2016
Detroit Burrito
A shit taken in someone's car usually in an act of revenge or defiance. Often left as a message in a poorly parked car.
Terrell played lookout while Juan took a shit the size of an axe handle in the back seat of Benny's Cadillac. When Juan finished Terrell looked in and said, "Mutha fuck! That is one big ass Detroit Burrito!"
They laughed as they left and Juan turned back one last time and yelled, "Welcome to Dee-fuckin-troit, bitch!"
They laughed as they left and Juan turned back one last time and yelled, "Welcome to Dee-fuckin-troit, bitch!"
Detroit Burrito by theinstigator October 2, 2016
Weiner Worthy
Being desirable enough to stick one's penis in. A woman worth wetting one's willie in. A gal who a guy would want to fuck.
Weiner Worthy by theinstigator October 1, 2016
Bipolar Pussy
The kind of woman who is so wild in bed she might happily do the kinkiest thing your twisted little mind could conjure up and she would really get off on the raw sexual energy from such an act --- but...she could also wake up 3 hours later and go Lorena Bobbit on your ass and lop your dick off with a Ginsu carving knife, tossing your pathetic little wee wee in the huge pond out back to feed the snapping turtles---all because you forgot to put the cap back on the tube of toothpaste. Bipolar pussy is absolute THE BEST sex one could ever have but one has to keep in mind that the crazy IS going to come out eventually so be ready to lose anything and possibly everything. Think Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction.
SCENE: KITCHEN, A NAKED MAN HAS A NAKED WOMAN BENT OVER THE OPEN DOOR OF HIS STOVE, HER HEAD IS IN THE OVEN AND HE IS FUCKING HER ASS WITH THE HANDLE OF A MEDIUM SAUCEPAN. SHE IS SCREAMING IN ECSTASY.
RITA: Yes, yes! Use the extra large cast iron skillet handle!
As the man hurries to grab the skillet, the CAMERA BACKS OUT OF THE ROOM INTO THE FRONT ROOM WHERE RITA'S CLOTHES ARE STREWN ABOUT IN THE ORDER SHE TOOK THEM OFF FROM THE TIME SHE ENTERED THE FRONT DOOR.
ANNOUNCER: Bill thought he had hooked up with a dream woman; one who just gave him the best night of sex he'd ever had...
AND AS THE CAMERA BACKS OUT OF THE FRONT DOOR...
ANNOUNCER: ...but he would soon find out...
CAMERA BACKS OUT OF THE HOUSE AND SHOWS BILL'S FRONT LAWN:
Tire tracks are in circles on the front lawn and lead to a Pink Ford Ranger which has the mailbox lodged in it's grill. A Blue Chevy Silverado is parked neatly in the driveway but has "SHE LOVES ME" keyed in the side of the nice paint. And a dog is hanging by its neck from a garden hose which is strung from a short vertical flagpole to the right of the front door.
ANNOUNCER: ...he had hooked up with...Bipolar Pussy!
RITA: Yes, yes! Use the extra large cast iron skillet handle!
As the man hurries to grab the skillet, the CAMERA BACKS OUT OF THE ROOM INTO THE FRONT ROOM WHERE RITA'S CLOTHES ARE STREWN ABOUT IN THE ORDER SHE TOOK THEM OFF FROM THE TIME SHE ENTERED THE FRONT DOOR.
ANNOUNCER: Bill thought he had hooked up with a dream woman; one who just gave him the best night of sex he'd ever had...
AND AS THE CAMERA BACKS OUT OF THE FRONT DOOR...
ANNOUNCER: ...but he would soon find out...
CAMERA BACKS OUT OF THE HOUSE AND SHOWS BILL'S FRONT LAWN:
Tire tracks are in circles on the front lawn and lead to a Pink Ford Ranger which has the mailbox lodged in it's grill. A Blue Chevy Silverado is parked neatly in the driveway but has "SHE LOVES ME" keyed in the side of the nice paint. And a dog is hanging by its neck from a garden hose which is strung from a short vertical flagpole to the right of the front door.
ANNOUNCER: ...he had hooked up with...Bipolar Pussy!
Bipolar Pussy by theinstigator October 1, 2016
Brown Out
When one is engaged in anal sex and as they are thrusting in and out of their partner's anus they look down and notice some shit on their dick. Suddenly the energy and desire for anal sex is diminished greatly to the point of becoming semi-erect.
Jim: Dude, I so pumped last night. I had a hard-on that wouldn't quit and I was fucking Jane's ass. Then I noticed my cock was coming out dirty and I just lost it. Started going limp. Lost my drive. What a bummer.
Bo: Damn, bro. Total brown out!
Bo: Damn, bro. Total brown out!
Brown Out by theinstigator September 22, 2016